Blog-Tember | Day 9 Sweet-Sixteen Spoilers and a Message To Self

Dear Heather,

I know right now you are busy so maybe you won’t be able to really hear my voice...that's okay though. I'll be here :)

You’ve got a lot going on. I know you work really hard for your A’s and that anything less makes you feel shame. 

I know that you really like your journalism class most and if you could, you would write all day. 

I know that you run really hard in track even if you aren’t the fastest. 

I know that you really love your youth group and being on the worship team and leadership team. 

I know you wanted a bigger part in the Sound of Music. 

I know you give your best to everything. 

I see how much you love your family and how tender you are. 

You have wrapped everything you do in meaning even to how you hoard your sentimental things like collected feathers, pens and candles. I know that you hide the things that make you feel less than grown-up but you still love them. 

I know that you are worried about if you’ll get to go to the school dances, how fast you’ll run at your track meets, and when you’ll get a car. These things seem "normal" to worry about. 

But I know you also worry about how your body looks and have a large and growing fear of gaining weight as you continue to develop. 

I know you are anxious about making mistakes and God being angry with you. I know that you struggle to sleep at night. I know these inward struggles don't feel normal to you right now but let me tell you something:You are not alone. I know so many friends who have struggled with these same things. I'm sorry you felt so "abnormal". 

I would love to simply tell you not worry but I know that doesn’t work for you. Instead I’m going to tell you about you and what I've come to learn about you after spending the past 29 years with you. :)

You are resilient.

You are kind.

You are tender and sensitive and this is your super-power. Don’t let go of it.

You are courageous and bold

You are madly resourceful

You give your all

You are ambitious

You are witty and fun

You are intelligent

You are more than enough

There’s a few other things I want to tell you to, that I would love for you to believe.

God is not mad at you

You are doing great

Your body is enough as it is. You don’t have to change it. It will change as you grow, but that is good.

It’s okay to be afraid.

It’s okay to feel different.

It's okay to not be extroverted all the time.

It’s okay to feel everything deeply.

It's okay to rest.

Heather, you’ve got this. You’re a badass. You can do this life thing. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Just keep showing up. God will meet you there.

I know you have a lot of questions about faith and God. That's okay too. Just take a deep breath and respect your questions, Heather. It's okay to question the status-quo. 

I wish I could send you a 16-year-old care package Heather, complete with candles, nail polish and a soft warm blanket. I would send you a letter reminding you that Love wins and that you are never alone. 

You're amazing, fierce and gentle and I'm grateful to know your soul.

Love your 29-year-old-self

P.S. Spoiler Alert: I know you think Nate Cole has everything you want. At this point though, you don't know all you want. And you actually don't even know him because is in a boy band. (picture above taken at concert) And I'm extremely glad you met Scott and married him instead. He is the best.