Best Friend Bill Of Rights*

  1.   I CAN CALL YOU AT 2AM

I can call you in the middle of the night: anywhere, anytime. However I commit to not being personally offended if you don’t pick up. You have this right as well.

   2.   RESPOND TO TEXT MESSAGES                                                                                                Not responding to a text message for 1 day is okay, 3 days and we are still going strong. If you wait a week to respond to my text I will assume worst-case scenario. Text me back and tell me you are alive.

   3.   CALLING 3x IS NOT A CHARM

If you call me 3x in a row with no voicemail or text I will assume 1. You are headed to the ER 2. You are pregnant or 3. Both (if you are my husband I have a lot of questions)

   4.   WE SHARE CLOTHES AND FASHION ADVICE

I expect you tell me when I look weird in my 90s clothes. However I still get to wear my TIGER shirt and neon shorts. Also top knots.

   5.   WE WRITE LETTERS

We are old school and write hand written notes to each other

   6.   I CAN SAY NO TO YOU

I can say no to you and you can say yes no to me.

   7.   PUBLIC VERBAL AFFIRMATION

When we go to parties together I talk about how cool you are publicly and tell stories about the time when you I saved you from drowning in Hawaii.

   8.   WHEN YOU ARE SCARED I WILL BE THERE

I won’t try to reason your fear away. I will hold your hand or lay on top of you: whatever brings you comfort the fastest. I remind you to breathe. I will tell you that you are brave and strong.

   9.   IT’S ALWAYS COOL TO SAY ‘REMEMBER WHEN’

Even if “remember when” was 5 minutes ago. It’s still fun.

   10.  SILENCE IS A MARK OF OUR FRIENDSHIP I like that we can watch the Bachelor, PLUS ONE, the Mindy Project, and I’ll Be Home For Christmas and a tons of rom coms quietly. I love that it’s okay for me to zone out, staring blankly out the window on a road trip, I adore that we are comfortable enough that we can be safe in our quietness.  

    11.  WE NAME EACH OTHER AND ITEMS OF SIGNIFICANCE. They don’t have to make sense. They just need to happen. If my hair looks like a dinosaur because my poof is too pointy I can now referred to as dino. If I can’t figure out how to send things on pinterest I am not not a loser, I am a lose. If my turtleneck is too tight around my neck you can call me a caulker. If one day I imagine you hopping around like a rabbit cause that gives me the best visual for your lifestyle, I will now call you bunny. If your name is Elizabeth and I nicknamed you E-beth, but now my dad calls you Ebay, I am sorry.

Have any suggestions? What are your best friend rules? Add yours in the comments!

* Inspired from the witty and savy book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling from her chapter, The Best Friend Rights and Responsibilities.