So this is obviously out of order. I am just playing catch up! Read more prompts here .
Today's prompt: How do you stay inspired? Who inspires you most?
This prompt is a fun one. I’m going to take a spin on this one and talk about what about my younger years and what inspired me then. After going through self-actualization or developing into a adult sometimes I tend to think “oh that little child” she wasn’t as mature, developed, smart or whatever nonsense. I think often we give up passions we had as kids or teenagers because we felt discouraged about them. Maybe we weren’t the fastest in track or got the leading role in the musical. Maybe our art teacher told us we weren’t good enough or that boys can’t like flowers and girls can’t like playing in the dirt. Whatever the case, “cut-off” can occur when we literally remove ourselves of who we were. Often when people recover from addictions or trauma it’s easy to not want to be near that “person” that we used to be anymore. But that person is still us. That person is resilient and strong and walked through it all and they are worth some respect!
So today I will talk about what inspired me as a child/teenager. I am working on connecting with that young person today and acknowledging the deep roots she put in for me. Thank you little Heather, you are a rock star.
Show and Tell: I loved show and tell as a child. One of my favorite "show and tells" was when I brought in a freshly picked wild cactus from our land in kindergarten. We lived in Montana at the time. I was so excited to show my class this cactus. Not much has changed in this area, I still love to “show and tell”. When I go home for Christmas I show my sisters all my latest and greatest shoes, shirts and jewelry and they all have some kind of story attached to them.
Reading: I loved reading as a child and entered all the reading contests and won! I did the library reading programs and always achieved all my goals. Today I still love reading and have to work at pacing myself so I can enjoy a book for a week and not a couple hours!
Tender: This is a painful one for me. I was a tender, sensitive and a gentle kid growing up. I resented this so much. I wanted to have “thicker skin” like so many kids seemed to have. I didn't want to feel everything so intently. I resented this so much I felt I had to become more aggressive to survive in a world where this is a lot of heart break and pain. Today however I am learning to embrace my tender side. I am inspired by the tender things in my life, whether it’s the way owls look, eyes that share their deep pain with me, or the gentle way rain falls (or doesn’t fall in some cases….SAN DIEGO)
Art: I loved drawing growing up. I drew nonstop. Art class was my favorite until a couple art teachers were very clear that they did NOT share my vision for art. My art teacher my freshmen year of high-school didn’t like that my lines weren’t straight and that I didn’t know how to make a grid. I eventually dropped out of the class because I knew I would never be good enough for this teacher. ENTER: My senior year of college I decided to be brave and take an art class. My professor had wild crazy red hair and looked like his belonged in a hip forest with critters as friends. He told me that maybe I didn’t know how to draw a specific way but hey I knew how to make things look good and that’s what rescued my artwork. Ever since then I have embraced art in my life.
Beanie Babies: I played with Barbies and Beanie Babies foreevvvvverrrrr. And when I say forever I mean foreverrrrrrr (in fact, I’ll come back in an hour, I’ve got to go play with them…just kidding…not…well….wait.) Anyway I played with Beanie Babies for a very long time with my sisters, well past elementary years. I felt a fair amount of embarrassment about this well hidden secret I kept from the world outside my walls of beanie baby kingdom. My sisters and I would spend hours and hours (as many hours as we could cram into a day) throwing our beanie babies across the living room in flight, having them float on pillows in the midst of their flood, building their homes, sending them off to college, having them fight and yell and cry and laugh and then meet up at the snack shack when all was well again. We created “happily ever after” stories with a lot of horror in-between such as villain being tortured in a glass jar of needles??? The point is, I am still inspired by this. Today I am inspired by good stories with happy endings. I love sharing my story and I love hearing other people’s stories. I still think we are most brave when we embrace our stories. I will keep creating stories with my
beanie babies life.
Taking Care: As a tender and sensitive child, I was also a clean and organized child. Sometimes I just wanted to be more laid back and easy going. I wanted to care less about everything. Instead I seemed to care about absolutely everything. When I look back and I see this head of fuzzy blonde hair carefully organizing her candles, tea cups, beanie babies and stationary in such a neat orderly fashion I am inspired. Rather than resenting that precious girl’s possessiveness and deep protection of her things I have come to admire it a little bit more. In the small ways, I see how important it was for me to take good care of my toys and cherish what I had. Today I hope to take care of my resources in the same way, to care about how my husband feels, to take care of my friends when they are sad, to be protective of my client’s emotions, to be gentle with my decorative pillows and coffee mugs and candles because they are all precious little gifts.
Angst: According to the dictionary angst is "a feeling of deep anxiety or dread, typically an unfocused one about the human condition or the state of the world in general." As a teenager I was filled with deep dark angst in a lot of ways. I felt constricted and claustrophobic in my life and this caused a whole lot of anxiety. I would dream about freedom, breaking rules and doing “one bad thing” which for me probably meant I would not read all of the Bible that day. This isnt’ a particular fun one to be inspired by. However I have learned to embrace my angst and not be a hater. I know Jesus wasn’t hating on me during all my angsty years. Jesus was embracing all my uneasy and dreaded panicky emotions. My angst inspired me to reach for freedom and experience truth, not to just hear about it. It stretched make to jump even when I was afraid. Ultimately I think my angst years developed a leaper in me and for that I am grateful.
This list could go on for some time. I was in love with all things water at a young age and continue to be inspired by water today. I was an avid journaling by the time I could put pencil to paper and still practice this art of communication. But what I really want to know is what inspires you? What from your childhood or teen years inspires you today?