Friday, April 10, 2015

Silver Linings Matter

Silver linings really matter.

This week, is the week after spring break. Usually I always feel a little bit of unease before Christmas break and spring break. Since I work with at-risk adolescents (which this label is not one I am fond of, aren't we all one or two steps from being at-risk?) generally this break is not a fun time. All week my clients have been requesting to see me and telling me how horrible spring break was for them.

Thankfully as they talk, they usually find at least one silver lining in the week. They find something that makes them grateful or helped them through the week.

So I'm taking my own advice and doing the same. The combination of being post recovered from an eating disorder and having being diagnosed as pre-diabetic (along with a a looming fear of being full fledged diabetic) makes me feel quite overwhelmed. However this week I would like to reach out and pull out of the miry mess what I find to be the bright side. The whole idea of a silver lining is a metaphor for optimism. Storm clouds always have a silver lining.

So I will hunt for them like treasures!

Okay my silver linings include:

* I had my appointment with my nutrionist this week. She is the same one who helped me recover from my eating disorder so I trust her a lot. She reminded me that restricting was NOT a way to manage being pre-diabetic. She assured me that my meal plan is NOT a low carb diet. She explained to me that it's more about timing and what I pair with my carbs. She explained that proteins are helpful when having carbs because they keep your blood sugar safe. She also told me to eat every 3 hours to help keep my blood sugar stable. Even though I felt scared and anxious and triggered thinking about having to now count carbs, she assured me that it was not about weight, or cutting out fats. In fact, she explained fat does not affect blood sugar at all. Rather she talked about balance and overall wellness.

*My husband. Good grief am I lucky. I could explode with gratitude. In all honesty, sometimes I can't even receive all the kindness because it's too much. It feels too good to be true. (enter foreboding joy) The morning after my appointment I awoke to Scott in the kitchen, with all the breakfast smells imaginable and all the sounds of sizzling, toasting and boiling. Scott had figured out all the exchanges for me and has practically everything ready as I slow-motion(ed) my way out of bed. Every day he has tirelessly and passionately made me nutritious meals. I didn't ask. It was just given. SILVER LINING FOLKS.

* Seeing my friend this week and going to see a beautiful estate full of flowers, gardens and peaceful space. Just what my soul needed and craved.

*Spending time with my mentor this week over hot tea and an Anthropologie candle on her cozy couch.

* You guys. Seriously. After my last blog posted I was nervous. But you all responded with so much encouragement and kindness. All your comments on my blog and Facebook meant so much. All your text messages and sincere words make me strong.  My friend wrote a powerful blog on the "Joshuas" in your life. The friends who remind you that if God is with you, no one, nothing, can stop you or separate you from that love, from the land of abundance. We don't have to go back to bondage, addiction, toxic obsession. I've had a lot of friends and family remind me that I don't have to go back to my eating disorder to manage this. I am so thankful.

Note on Silver Linings: Silver linings are to be used for the person who is going THROUGH the difficulty. If you are not going through the storm, it's usually not a good idea to project what you think is a silver lining for your friend, family member or client. Silver lining matters work best for those who are IN IT. They are in the arena. They are the warriors. Let them come up with their own silver linings. We all know people who say, "Well on the bright side…" right after we shared our deep and traumatic wound.  All we need to do as companions is validate, validate VALIDATE their feelings and experiences.


  1. Always, always look for the silver linings....they're always there....I was very anxious last night (have an important stage of the whole process happening next week) and I felt an urge to pick up the Bible. I opened at random and what did I see jumping out of the page at me?! Psalm 18 "You exalted me above my foes...From violent men you rescued me".....don't tell me that's a coincidence....! The silver linings are always around us, we just need to tune our eyes and hearts to feel for them and then they register with our brains! Have a *great* weekend! Helen xx

    1. Thank you Helen. So glad you opened up to Psalm 18 and hope all goes well next week. We have to hold onto our silver linings :)

  2. I love you so much! I will happily cook for you all the time!

  3. Also, I am the author's husband and not a random creep on the blog.