I'm feeling blecky.
And by that I mean I am both blessed and lucky.
To be blecky is to encounter good even though I don't deserve it or didn't strive for it. It happened and it feels like a fluke or a strange phenomenon but I am grateful.
I've just decided that these two words need to merge. Being the highly spiritual Christian I am, I have always said, "I am so blessed!" #blessed
But there's something about that statement alone that made me feel weird. I wondered if it sounded like I was blessed but meanwhile other people were simply cursed and it all came from the same superstitious God upstairs.
The problem of pain is not something I will get into, but it deserves to be noted. If I have an amazing husband and you don't does that mean I'm blessed and you just got the shaft? If I make all the money in the world but you live in poverty does that mean I'm blessed and you got screwed?
From what I gather via the smarty pants dictionary; blessed essential means to have a sacred nature, to be connected with God, or something that is very welcome, pleasant, appreciated or held in reverence.
This makes me think of the Beautitidues in Matthew 5 with verses such as "Blessed are the poor spirit"… I guess it's different than… "Yeah, I recovered from my flu in just two days! I guess I'm really blessed with a good immune system"
The more I think about it, the more I think to be blessed has something to do with the quiet space inside of us and less with external circumstances. I just think of the woman who is infertile only to hear her friend say she is pregnant because she is "blessed". I can't imagine that feels very good.
Now, the word lucky seems less disarming. It has less of a staunch feeling to it. Lucky according to the dictionary means to produce a good result by chance. Luck basically means the accidental way things happen without being planned.
I kinda like that. I feel like life is kind of mix of blessings and luck if you will. I realize living in the gray here isn't always very appreciated when so much of our world wants us to live in extreme blacks and whites. But the truth is that horrible awful things happen to people who know and love Jesus, who seek Him. And wonderful, amazing things happens to people who know and love Jesus. I just feel like I don't have any right to be spewing about how 'blessed' I am because no one in my family has experience racisim for example, when my neighbor experiences it every day. Is being blessed like a weapon? If we speak it over ourselves will it hide us away from pain? I think not, and rather, Jesus says, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." When was the last time someone was crying and grieving the loss of something and stated, "I'm blessed because I mourn?"
Pretty different than what I think of being blessed.
So for me, my personal definition of the word "blecky" is:
God is connected to me and I experienced something good and it feels accidental and I have no idea why. And I am grateful.
I feel blecky to have him in my life