Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Can Women Have IT ALL (Part 3)

Welcome back to Part 3 of my series on Can Women Have IT ALL! Now it's time to share the hardest part of my "do's and don'ts" I created my list of what I don't do. I am telling myself that creating this list is to set me free so I can prioritize my DO list. It's always been hard for me to say no. I am learning though. Sometimes saying "no" is the brave and sacred act of my day. 

My nature is more, but this season is less. Paring down to barer bones, making space, scraping away. We love big stories, ones that involve passports, mountains and photo-ops. But sometimes being courageous means less, quieter, stiller, smaller." -Shauna Niequist


I don’t do dry cleaning. If you are a high-maintenance shirt, tough luck to you-you are going in the washing machine like all my other clothes. Stop trying to be better than the others.

I don’t clean out my email inbox…I know I know…but time is finite.

I don’t do sexism and I don’t hang out with people who are fiercely committed to this. I don’t hang out with people who only discuss how their and other people’s bodies look as well as their next work out plan.

I don’t support inequality or injustice.

I don’t bully my body.

I don’t really take out the trash or do recycling (please be kind to me). I don’t sew. I don’t garden, though I might like to someday.

I don’t wear heels.

I don’t wear fancy sunglasses and I don’t color my hair monthly. My roots are just going to be there and I hope it doesn’t offend anyone.

And this one is just so difficult for me to say, because I love giving gifts, but sending gifts 24x a year across the country is no longer sustainable. My immediate family receives gifts from me. And Scott. After that, a handful of close friends who live in San Diego MIGHT receive a prize at some point.

I do not seek to make my apartment a “show home” from HGTV even though I would secretly love it. Sterile clean is not sustainable for me. Sometimes I have piles.

I don’t do perfection. I aim to be present and kind and brave, not perfect.

I don’t do a lot of math, spread sheets or things involving numbers. I don’t enjoy paying bills, it makes me dizzy. (okay, but we DO pay our bills)

I seek to not shame myself. I seek not to shame others.

I don’t tan or lay at the beach to do so. I will burn. I don't do facial appointments. However I will use cucumbers and my own homemade version of one. 

 I don’t wear anything that tries to squish my neck. I don’t wear tight clothes because I value breathing. I buy extra large leggings and this is truth.

I don’t add extra things to my schedule to feel worthy or productive.

I don’t talk on the phone every day like I used to. I need one day where I “un-plug”.

I don’t keep my car clean besides throwing out old coffee cups.

I don’t work 40+ hours a week because I value my emotional energy for my clients and myself MORE than the 40+ hours would make for me financially.

I don’t cook or bake but I make. I make salad, sandwiches and the occasional dinner. I make candles and my own dry shampoo and make-up remover. I make my own wall art and stationary sometimes too. I do not make my own scarves, pillows or blankets. I do not upholster anything. I don’t even know what it means.

I don’t go to concerts, clubs or bars after 9pm. It is too loud and I am too tired.

I don’t volunteer for 10 nonprofits. I don’t save the world even though I desperately want to. I focus on my own backyard (ahem, cement porch) and take deep breath. I focus on living my story and not someone else’s.