I watched this Propel video recently and it really made me think about my belief system regarding my gender and what is socially and culturally expected of me.
Can women have it all?
This has been rolling around in my head for awhile. It seems that in today’s society and culture women are expected to do A LOT. There is this unwritten TOXIC message that says if you are a stay-at-home-mother, you are CLEARLY not a feminist and don’t care about your career and then there is this other unwritten message that says if you are a career woman and don’t have any babies then CLEARLY you don’t care about families and being warm and nurturing.
So…the solution to this? DO IT ALL. Have an amazing education, a bad-ass career, be a mother and DO IT ALL looking hot and maintaining a clean and pristine home.
Well how absurd and ridiculous. But who hasn’t bought into this lie at least a little bit? I know I have and I don’t even have children. But Scott and I want kids. And it all makes me feel like I need to race, speed, full throttle it all the way to career bliss while simultaneously making babies. Good grief.
I read this stunning quote Shauna Niequist wrote in her latest book Savor and later in her book, Bittersweet; that has made me stop and think quite a bit the past few days. It’s made me think about how time is finite and so is energy and being everything to everyone and doing it all perfectly might not be as sustainable as I had previously hoped.
“It’s not hard to decide what you want your life to be about. What’s hard, she said, is figuring out what YOU’RE WILLING TO GIVE UP, in order to do the things YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT….”
So Shauna went on to make a list. She made a list of things she does and things she doesn’t do. She writes about giving her best to raise her sons, but she doesn't scrapbook. She works hard to be a good writer but doesn't pain her fingernails or do major home improvement projects. She said this list set her free. Since I love lists like I love lab puppies and cold brew coffee, I figured this would be a good activity for me. I'm going to take some time to think through my lists of "do's" and "dont's" I plan to blog about them soon. Maybe you can join me and let me know what things you are giving up in order to do what you really care about.
This picture portrays how I look and feel when I try to DO IT ALL.