31 days of Self-Care day 4

Alone time.

Tonight I am having some soul space.

Initially I felt guilty turning my friends down on dinner and fall festive plans.  But my friend reminded me how much it sense it makes that I would want to stay home. She totally understood my need to be a bum. After a week of appointments, deadlines and meetings I just needed to spend some time with myself.

Every time I take the Myers Briggs Test (even type 2) I come out as an extrovert. Maybe I am a low functioning extrovert or maybe it’s actually just healthy to cultivate alone time regularly. (hint: it is). Still I am usually confused with myself. But when I took the more in-depth Myers Briggs test I realized that I was a reflecting and intimate extrovert. Meaning I like to sit around and journal and read and think. AND I also like hanging out with small groups of people because I value depth and quality over quantity.

Don’t get me wrong though. Those big parties still bring me a lot of energy and excitement. Just when I am building in enthusiasm and volume of tone at a party, Scott is just wishing he could hide in a corner…or go home. If anyone has taught me that it’s okay to be alone or spend time with just one person, it’s my husband, Scott. He could spend an entire day alone and be thrilled. I would be bored by the end of the day. However I have learned to really enjoy my alone time. 

It wasn’t always like this. I used to fear being alone. Facing my anxiety and fear head on was really hard and often being alone made me feeling very vulnerable. My therapist has helped me see I am not so scary to be with. I am actually quite enjoyable. There is no reason to run from myself. The more comfortable I am with myself the more I cherish my alone time.

Tonight Scott is closing at the Coffee Bean so I took full advantage of my alone time. I baked some chicken and had some kale. I wrote a letter to my best friend from my childhood. I boiled some water for tea. I lit some candles. I arranged my pumpkins and gourds into a center piece for our coffee table (aka trunk) I may have found myself roaming at Target. I cannot confirm or deny if I came home with some exciting prizes for myself. I called a couple of my close friends I haven’t caught up with in awhile.  Next phase of alone time might involve reading some Real Simple or Kinfolk or playing some candy crush. On that notes I might find some chocolate to eat. I will invite Jesus into my pumpkin spice aroma, candle burning, chocolate munching, quiet, calm time tonight.

Alone time is self-care time for me.