Thursday, September 22, 2016

Blog-Temper Day 22 | Hello Fall!

I am a bit late to getting this posted! Today I had to take a 4 hours timed mock exam as I continue the steep climb to being a licensed therapist. It was mind-numbing and terribly long. I felt completely brain dead and deprived of any intellectual ability (even a blog as cheery as this!) So I took my pup to the beach for some fresh air and now I feel renewed and ready to form sentences again. :)

Every year I look forward to this prompt! I love talking about fall! Seasons as in my blood as a midwest girl but living in San Diego has made me keen on observing even the smallest changes in the weather. I am sad that next week we are schedule for 90 degree weather. #ugh. But it won't stop me from celebrating this season. 

Today's Prompt: Fall Favorites. Share your must-haves for the season. 


FALL FAVORITES:
Fall greeting cards, chocolate-chip pumpkin muffins, crunchy leaves
Leggings, scarves, boots, fireplaces.
Empty beaches, rainy days, pumpkin spice everything.
Savory soups, Thanksgiving, Hallmark movies.
Apple cider, being warm and cozy, grinning pumpkins.
My birthday, anticipation of holidays, new planners.
Fall scented candles, celebrating with friends, more popcorn. 


What about fall is your favorite?

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Blog-Tember Day 21 | Ice-Cream I Love You.

If you were a flavor of ice-cream what would you be and why?

Oh ice-cream, you smooth, soft, sugary, super cold dream. You help us get through the hottest summers and help us endure the longest days. You greet us in sunny afternoons and on the cozy couch at the end of the day. You're icy and tasty and always inclusive. The whole world pines after you no matter what time of day. 



My top three favorite flavors of ice cream are:
  1. Gold Medal Ribbon
  2. Cookie Dough
  3. Chocolate 
My top three favorite toppings are:
  1. Cookie Dough
  2. Peanut Butter Cups
  3. Mini M&M's
As you can see I clearly have a thing for chocolate! So I think if I had to choose to be a flavor I would be chocolate-chip cookie dough with a homemade waffle cone because that just makes it even more yummy! I would like to think I'm sweet, sassy and sincere. Chocolate Chip Cook Dough ice cream  very sweet, surprises you by more cookie dough than you had originally thought was inside, and is exactly what it claims to be; yummy. 

Scott and I have a local ice-cream shop called Mariposa which is less than a block from our apartment (yes LESS than). You can only imagine the amount of discipline it takes to not empty our "out to eat" budget quite quickly by going to get ice-cream weekly/daily/hourly. It's a true Mom and Pop shop with old fashioned homemade ice-cream.  And it is SO good. 

Now I'm hungry for ice cream! Off to read about what flavors you would be! 

Blog-tember Day 20 | 20 Things I Wish More People Knew

Hello friends and happy Tuesday! I am taking a break from all the studying and lecture listening to write this blog. I'm so excited to read all of your blogs today. I'm sure I'll learn a thing or two :)

Today's Prompt: Something(s) you wish more people knew or believed:




Embracing our authentic story and all the parts we like and don't like is incredibly brave.

Being different is not bad.

God is not a gender. God isn't a Dutch male. And "He" doesn't just live inside an evangelical church.

Advocating for LGBTQ rights does NOT threaten heterosexual marriages. 

 I'm NOT a therapist 24/7. This is my job, not my lifestyle. It is really hard when people need you to always be the wise, perfectly neutral, objective and empathetic friend. Sometimes I just want to say, "that was a dumb decision" and it be okay every once in awhile.

Safe people respect your boundaries and your "no".

Diets don't work but self-love does. (95% of diets don't work).  Weight loss industries make 60 billion dollars in the U.S. so they actually make money off of it not working for us. They need repeat costumers to pay their mortgage! Our idea of what beautiful is has been entirely manipulated by culture. But it doesn't have to be this way. We don't all have to be tall, thin and white to beautiful. Once again, different is good. Every skin color is beautiful. Every body shape and size is worth respecting and loving.

Candles, coffee and cute puppies DO make everything better.

Just because it's working or successful doesn't mean it's God's will. Doing something you hate doesn't make you more holy.

Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.

Gilmore Girls RULES. (although most people already know this)

There is no shame in asking for help and seeing a therapist.

Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental disorder. Speaking up and advocating for your family and friends who struggle is very important. It's not just a phase, a diet or "they just don't have an appetite" situation.

It doesn't need to be perfect in order to experience joy or happiness. And #newsflash everyone has a little bit of mess.

Comparison is a life sucker and a poop head.  "Creativity, which is the expression of our originality, helps us stay mindful that what we bring to the world is completely original and cannot be compared." -Brene Brown

Good sleep and good food can change your life. #mymomwasright

The "sensitive ones" are just paying attention.

No one knows what you want or need unless you communicate it.

Having anxiety doesn't mean you "just don't trust God enough". It might mean you are genetically pre-disposed to anxiety or you live in a stressful environment. It could be nurture or nature. Your system could be overly flooded with norephinephrine or cortisol but it's not about you not trusting, believing or praying enough.  To simplify anxiety (when 40 million  adults in the U.S. have clinical anxiety) it is to invalidate all of it's complexities

It's okay (and essential) to treat yo self. :)




Monday, September 19, 2016

Blog-tember Day 18 | My Favorite Blogs

Today's Prompt: A list of your favorite blog posts that you've written.


What a great prompt! It was fun to go back and look at some of my older blogs (and #gasp; notice my messy grammar and #help; I need a new blog design!). Anyhooo below are 5 of my top favorite blogs. Some are funny and silly (and you'll notice that I adore lists) and some are more serious and address things I'm really passionate about.

I hope they inspire you or at least make you smile!

What are your favorite topics to write about?

What Feminism Looks Like To Me.

10 Reasons Not To Give Up Caffeine.

5 Harmful Messages Purity Culture Taught Me.

True Health Versus The Latest Fad Diet.

20 Signs That You Are Indeed Growing Up.


Sunday, September 18, 2016

Blog-Tember Day 18 | The Soap That Simplifies My Life

Hi friends!

I am back from a day-off of blogging. I missed the vlog challenge entirely! I drove up to spend the day yesterday with  one of my good friends up in San Clemente (known as the "Spanish village by the sea" in Orange County). She is moving to New Zealand in less than 2 weeks so I'm so glad I had hte chance to spend a whole day with her catching up.  We visited a cultural center/museum, tried out a new coffee shop, walked along the pier, got a tasty lunch complete with sweet potato fries and celebratory drinks and walked along the beach. We also talked for 8 hours straight so I didn't get a chance to do my vlog :) But here's vlog from last year's Blog-Tember Challenge just in case you're interested! I'm excited to catch up on your blogs and listen to your vlogs!

Today's Prompt: One product that simplifies your life.



Dr. Bronner's Soap simplifies my life! My husband first introduced me to it back when we were dating. He had the peppermint soap and couldn't stop raving about how it can be used as shampoo and body wash and lasts forever! I was won over (as I am with most things) by the smell. I had started using essential oils around that time and all of Dr. Bronner's products smelled so good to me.  They are ethically sourced and use only organic ingredients. They also pursue fair trade around the world which I think is a plus. (but let's be honest, I use Bath & Body Works candles so I'm not claiming that I pursue all organic things by any stretch of the imagination)

I fell in love with Dr. Bronner's Hemp Lavender Pure-Castile Soap a couple years ago and have been using it every since. It smells amazing. And it simplifies my life because it can be used as shampoo, body-wash, face-wash and to shave. When I go on trips, I just bring a travel size of this and call it good! It's amazing how versatile it is. It can also be used to do laundry or bathe your pets (and I have washed Leonard with it on one occasion just for kicks)

Looking forward to reading about what helps simplify your life!

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Blog-Tember Day 16 | My Top 9 Self-Care Practices

Today's Prompt: How you de-stress/take care of yourself?

I absolutely love this prompt! If you know me you know how much I advocate for self-care. It's something I'm always assessing for in my clients. I think everyone can benefit from it but I do believe that the more chronic stress you're under (and especially if you've experienced trauma) the more necessary it is. I do not think self-care is a luxury only the wealthy and privileged should experience; I think everyone needs to learn how to self-soothe and care for one's heart, mind and body in times of great stress.

Ignoring our needs has some pretty serious side effects such as sleep exhaustion, dehydration, malnutrition along with high levels of cortisol in the brain. Cortisol is considered the stress hormone. Unfortunately too much of it can cause all kinds of problems from lowering our immune systems, causing anxiety and depression. When the levels become bumped up, the adrenal glands become exhausted and we are at risk for Adrenal Fatigue among many other not-so-fun health problems.

I know that in a lot of cultures and communities it's considered selfish, indulgent and lazy to practice self-care but let me tell you something IT IS THE OPPOSITE. 
_____________

Practicing self-care is one the most generous things you can do for your family, friends and world. 
_______________

Rather than engaging in life from a self-depleted place you can bring your energized self because you've taken care of you. And if this isn't enough for you to consider and you like science and research, I'll let you know that mental health professionals recommend taking at least 20 minutes a day to incorporate some type of self-care. Since I'm a Marriage and Family Therapist, I am also considered a mental health professional (heheheh) and I would say if you've never done self-care start with 20 minutes but make your goal 30 minutes to 1 hour every day.  There are 24 hours in a day and we can certainly "sacrifice" an  hour to re-charge our batteries.

Okay enough about that! I need to talk about my 9 ways I take care of myself.

FLOWERS
Flowers just help. If I go wildflower picking I can breathe in fresh air and nature while exploring all the colors flowers have to offer. If I'm not near where wildflowers roam #hellourbanjungle I head to Trader Joes. For me, just having a vase of flowers in my house brightens my space.

YOGA AND DEEP BREATHING
Yes, I merged two self-care practices together but honestly yoga really helped me implement deep breathing into my every day life. If I'm feeling stressed or having lots of body pain I try to pick up a Gentle Yoga Class down the street at our local yoga studio. If I don't want to pay for it, I head on over to Yoga with Adriene and do one of the free videos she offers. She is so funny and knowledgeable.

PUPPY THERAPY
Since getting our puppy, Lenny I cannot imagine life without him. I remember fondly the days where I would go up to complete strangers in our neighborhood just to pet their dogs. I dog-sat all my friend's fuzzy friends as well. Now I'm so glad I have a funny little Lenny waiting for me whenever I get home. There is something so calming about watching him curl up in a ball, breathe deeply and fall fast asleep.

CREATIVITY
When I get my hands moving my stress level immediately goes down. Repetitive motions like knitting can actually decrease anxiety according to research. I don't knit but I do paint, color, create homemade cards and I LOVE washi tape. I love going to Target and finding a new colorful washi tape to create something fun with.

NATURE
Going out into nature is the big exhale for me. I grew up in the Midwest on 30 acres of land so getting outside into space is so innate for me. I love feeling the texture of leaves and feeling the breeze. I like the smell of the earth after a big rain. I love going to the beach when it's empty, cool and cloudy. I get so excited to watch the sunset with Scott and Lenny on the bay. I feel free when I sit in front of a Minnesota lake and watch it's serene glassy mirror look back at me. I love roaming and hiking through the woods in Yosemite where I feel completely infused with all the magic the forest holds. This summer I spent so much time in nature, and it filled me in a way that is really indescribable. As Emerson says, "Look deep in nature and then you will understand everything better". I may go my whole day unaware of God's presence but when I step into fresh air and inhale nature I am suddenly made aware. (Genesis 28:16 makes me think of this)

LIGHT
I am a light kind of girl and by that I mean bring me all the candles and night lights and moons and stars and twinkly things. Lighting candles is a way I self-soothe my stress. Right now I have a little pumpkin sitting happily on my bookshelf. It only took one little battery and now I have a cozy Jack-o-Lantern grinning at me. I love finding soft mood lighting and holiday themed night lights. I adore paper lanterns. lamp posts and white lights wrapped around palm trees.

PLANNING SELF-CARE
This year I picked up a gold polka-dot planner that I'm frankly quite obsessed with. #thanksamazonprime Planners help me schedule in self-care time. Sometimes when it's so busy and chaotic it's overwhelming to squeeze one more thing BUT I know that this one thing will help me manage the busy and chaos so much better. I schedule deep tissue massages or just block out an hour to get a pedicure or head to Target to browse. I schedule my girl time+ friend time+ date nights because in the midst of too much to do and chronic hustle I want to make sure I'm making time for what really matters; my people.

READING
I mean you knew this was coming right?! Books are my happy place. Reading has been shown to lower your heart rate and reduce muscle tension! The act of visualization something else (especially when it's positive) can really benefit the whole person. I don't read horror books or dark depressing books because I don't think it would help me in the self-care category. I like reading self-help, marriage and family therapy, humor, children's literature, memoirs, and cheesy Christian fiction. #likereallycheesy

COFFEE
I know I know...the research does not bode well for me when it comes to de-stressing and caffeine. However it is part of my morning rhythm  that I savor so much. Read more about why not to give up your beloved coffee here.

That's all! What do you guys do for self-care? Can't wait to hear!


Blog-Tember Day 15 | My Crazy Adventure

Hello friends! We are half-way through our Blog-tember Challenge! It has been so good for me to make a practice of writing every day. I have so appreciated all your sweet comments and getting to know y'all.

Today's Prompt: What is the craziest adventure you've ever been on?

There are a number of adventures I have been on. I haven't been on too many "crazy" ones though. (I'm not sure how you define crazy but my mind  goes to getting a drunk tattoo or quitting your job and running off to Mexico and living in hut by the beach) Don't get me wrong I have certainly done some crazy things but they are fairly embarrassing and we can wait to tell those for "most embarrassing moment" prompts. :)

One of my craziest adventures was traveling to Morocco when I was 23 years old. I had never traveled that far before. I was fresh off a painful break-up and really needed some space between me and that relationship. I went with two pastors from my church to visit some of the under-ground churches. I didn't have anyone close to my age on my team and wasn't even able to sit with the people I did know on the long plan ride over!

My first night in my own hotel room by myself in Casablanca was pretty un-nerving. I didn't know the language, was not used to the food and barely understood what was happening. #jetlag Every night I was startled awake by the call to prayer.

But over the course of the next 10 days I came to love the Moroccan Tajine Chicken, the potatoes and carrots and the thick stew. I savored the sweet tea I had every morning. I relished staying in the riads every night which is like a traditional Moroccan house or palace. I admired the believers dedicated faith despite so much opposition.

I got to ride my first camel in Morocco. I had my first experience with using a toilet that was actually just a hole in the ground. I saw my the first mosque, Hassan Mosque. It the largest mosque in Casablanca and the 13th largest in the world. I saw the Mediterranean sea for the first time as well.

I met a girl close to my age on the trip who was from France and we did stuck to each other like glue. We stayed up too late talking, loved shopping around the medinas and borrowed each other's clothes.  The medinas were at the center of the city (imagine like a large outdoor farmers market or craft fair). It  has many narrow streets that were maze-like and super easy to get lost in.

We even scheduled an appointment at the hotel for a traditional Hammam complete with a massage and scrub. I certainly didn't know what to expect as we timidly entered the steam room together. There stood a large and robust woman with a scrub in one hand and black soap in the other. She coached us to come in and had one of us lay on this bench against the wall. I #clearly had my friend go first so I could observe. The robust woman began grabbing at my friends' clothes and we immediately knew she was instructing her to take them off. All of them.  I was wide eyed at this point as the woman spoke in Arabic and dumped a massive bucket of hot water on my friend's head and began scrubbing her down with such intense vigor I felt she was trying to shave her skin off. It was all quite the shock and I probably could have just told this story for my crazy adventure. I'm sure the robust elderly woman had a good laugh when she was done with us. Here I was imagining a spa-like experience complete with candles, a massage bed and soothing music. Instead I encountered nudity, boiling hot water all over my body and a sponge that felt like a steel wool scrub you use to get tough stains off of pots. But it was certainly an adventure and I'm so grateful all the experiences I had in Morocco.



Alright! Off to read about all of your adventures!