Blog-Tember Day 1 | Hello friends!

Hello!

I am so EXCITED to be part of my 3^rd annual Blog-Tember Challenge hosted by the lovely and creative Bailey Jean at Brave Love Blog.

For the past three years I look forward to the month of September. It pushes me to write every day for 30 days. It’s a challenge and discipline I really love. Every year I meet new and inspiring bloggers around the world who share their hearts and lives.

Today's Prompt: Introduce yourself however you like! Pics, vlog, collage, your choice!

My name is Heather and I live in San Diego with my husband of 3+ years and our sweet little puppy, Lenny.

Professionally I am a Marriage and Family Therapist and have been practicing for the past 4 years with adolescents, elementary aged kids and their families. I am currently in the midst of working on becoming a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. So far I have passed the State Law and Ethics Exam back in June and have one more exam to go. My State Clinical Exam is scheduled for September so you will probably hear a fair amount of moaning over here (and lots of pictures of coffee and essential oils to keep me going)

My husband Scotty works for Young Life College and we just got back from spending a month at Lost Canyon Camp with high-schooler’s and college kids. This was our first assignment and it was really fun to spend so much time in nature and breathing in fresh mountain air. I did a lot of studying here too (as well as feeding the horses) J

I value creativity, relationships, exploration, self-care, gratitude and spirituality. My faith in Jesus is really sacred to me. It is my anchor.

I’m all about advocating for those who are vulnerable, the under-dogs, those who feel like they aren’t enough or don’t have enough. I’m all about self-care.

I care about my family and friends immensely. They make life exquisite.  I care about helping people feel safe in their own skin, in their own gender, in their own stories and in their communities. I want to be a soft landing place. 

I’m passionate about mental health, educating on healthy body image and recovering from eating disorders, normalizing anxiety in adults and nightmares in kiddos. I love educating on feminism and integrating it with my faith. I’m passionate about shame resilience and owning one’s story. I'm also passionate about good local coffee. 

I’m in love with my husband Scotty.

I tend to lose my keys and phone constantly, get angry when I'm hungry, struggle with summarizing, externally process everything, forget about grammar due to excitement (sorry!) and get migraines when I'm too stressed. 

I always look forward to seeing my friends and visiting my family as well as planning out sister trips. I always look forward to celebrations, Christmas, birthdays, Thanksgiving and travel. I always look forward to clean sheets, and a trip to Marshalls or Target.

I’m crazy about my puppy Lenny. We got him in March from a rescue in our local area. He’s about 9 months old and he’s a mix between a shepherd, pug and beagle. I am completely head over heels for him and his fuzzy little head. I'm also crazy about autumn. I cannot wait!!!

I really enjoy cold brew coffee, pedicures, essential oils, writing, reading, Amazon Prime, Kate Spade planners, candles, nature, swimming,  bookstores, puppy time, date nights, yoga, Thai food, braids, writing letters, comedy, browsing Target, learning, chocolate, pretty wrapping paper, traveling to new places, water color painting, mail,  washi tape, the smell of Christmas trees, finding meaning, wildflowers (especially lavender), popcorn, the smell of rain, thunderstorms, gin tonics, a clean house, Children’s literature,

I could do without (read no thank you) hot days, long lines, junk mail, the cost of living in San Diego, kidney beans, traffic, sexism, racism, airports (although I have a love/hate relationship with them) and a culture obsessed with being thin, dieting, and working out. I could also do without feeling itchy cause it's the WORST. (mosquitos, eczema, heat rash etc. )

I can't wait to get to know my fellow bloggers! Please feel free to say hi below! And if you'd like to join and link up, click here!

WHY ADULTS NEED TO PLAY*

I climbed the steep hike huffing and puffing, sweating and swerving on the narrow trail. My friend, Laura and I were almost to the top, just a few more steps. My harness felt heavy and the my heart pounded inside my chest. The altitude was high but honestly my nerves were a bit high. Once to the top of the mountain, I could see everything, the trees, the hills, the camp, and the lake I would soon crash into with a force I could not yet comprehend.

Laura and I had the trained guide at this station make sure our harnesses were tight enough as he hooked us up the zip line above our heads. The only thing left to do was to run and jump off a piece of wood that stuck out over the mountain. It was liking a diving board but a very VERY high one. I had thought of turning around. I could do this once I was zipping down the mountain of course but why did I have to literally walk off a chunk of wood into thin air? I could crawl off I suppose but I what I really wanted was to get it over with already. The suspense was too much. My friend and I counted to three and took off running (read nervous skipping/trotting) into thin air and down we raced to the lake. It was absolutely exhilarating. All I could think about was the feeling of flying down the mountain. After we collided into the lake I felt so refreshed and invigorated, laughing at my shrill screaming the whole way down.

This past year something was missing from my life.  I was very good about date nights, my work schedules, my self-care routine, connecting with friends, eating enough, getting enough sleep, generosity and pursuing my faith. However I think I completely left play time out of the equation, partially because working and studying for my licensure exam was so overwhelming I couldn’t think about anything else except trying to schedule in self-care like a massage or pedicure from time to time. But time to play? There was no time for that.

To be honest, I think I forgot how it felt to play this past year. We know how developmentally important it is for children to play and for our pets to play, but do we know how essential it is for adults to take time to play?

This summer I was lucky enough to remember what it felt like to play. The school year ended, I passed my first exam and Scott and I were off on many adventures of traveling to see family and to work at Young Life Camp. We got to paddle board on a lake in Minnesota, jet ski and inner tube with my sisters, ride a giant swing at camp, zip line down a mountain in Arizona, play with paint, go down water-slides in the middle of the night, go to pool parties, pick wildflowers and lastly spend time playing with our puppy. Puppies really know how to play. They are so present and in the moment. They smell and taste and feel everything right as it’s happening.

There’s something about play that makes everything come to life. The color is brighter, the smells more noticeable, the sensations more sharp.

Research shows that play actually helps shape our brain. It can help develop empathy, open up the imagination, foster creativity, and can actually help navigate complex social groups (the most surprising one to me!). **

I’d like to think play also develops resilience in us. It helps create this deep reservoir that we can draw from when life gets tough as it inevitably will. It can helps stay present and remember that our worth really isn’t tied to our productivity (as I remind myself daily).

I am excited to start integrating more play into my life. I’m curious to know how other people play. I don’t want to always have to go on a trip or back to camp to learn how to play. I want to figure out how to do it in my own backyard. How do you play?  What is one thing you did this summer that felt invigorating and fun?

*Please avoid googling "adult play" #yikes

** Research done by Dr Stuart Brown (Psychiatrist) and Dr. Brene Brown (LMSW)

The Longest Table

Today I'm still reflecting on the past month Scott and I had at camp. Scott works for Young Life full time and part of his job is going on a camp assignment for a month every summer. Our assignment was at Lost Canyon in Arizona, up in the mountains, about 45 minutes from the Grand Canyon.

There were a lot of things that stand out to me about our camp experience. The smell of fresh mountain air every morning is something I miss terribly. I also miss the way everything cools down after a thunderstorm as it was monsoon season there. I'm completely nostalgic as it's 90 degrees in San Diego and Scott and I don't have air conditioning. (there is no rain in sight, just blinding heat). I miss living in staff housing where I was constantly surrounded by people working for the same goal. I miss having people cook and clean for me (thank you work crew, you are the best, thank you to my #campcrush, Scott for cleaning our toliets. #iloveyou)

But I keep reflecting on how I just felt saturated by God's presence while being there. It felt thick and rich and alive. Every day the staff spoke good news into high-school kids lives. They spoke hope. They acted in love. I know I'm not a camper or a high-schooler but they reminded me that God is still alive and well. With every dish they cleaned, they let kids know their worth and value. With every mint on their pillow they reminded kids that they were thinking of them. With every zip line and horse-back ride they let kids know it's okay to be kids, to play and have fun and that this place is safe.

One night the whole work crew set to work to throw a banquet for all the campers. The staff hauled large tables and chairs down to the the lake. The chefs prepared easily transported food. The campers dressed up for the occasion and came to dinner expectant. I won't do it justice when I write about it but I'm hoping this picture will do a little bit to give you a visual of what I saw. All the kids gathered around the lake, around this very long table to eat and be together. I found it to be so sacred.

It reminds me of Jesus when He talks about inviting everyone to the banquet.

"Go out at once into the streets and lanes of the city and bring in here the poor, and crippled and blind and lame...Go out into the highways and along the hedges and compel them to come in, so that my house may be filled" Luke 14:21,23

Everyone is invited. Everyone is in. The table is long enough.

And we are told to pay special attention to those that are socially more vulnerable, you know the ones with physical disabilities, the orphans, the widows...the ones who don't have access to resources. We need to take notice of those who don't have easily attained privilege...the ones who don't feel safe in their skin or in their gender or in their home. Those who culture has deemed "crazy" or "worthlesss" We are to invite them to this very large table that I am convinced is long enough and wide enough to hold us and all our differences and all of our vulnerabilities. Love doesn't run out. It can hold us. We don't have to tell someone there aren't enough chairs for them or there isn't enough food for them. There's always enough.

But we have to be the one to pull out the chair for them. We need to set the table for them. We need to invite them. They won't come if they don't feel wanted.

 If you're white and have grown up in a middle class lifestyle you hold lots and lots of privilege. So let's use it for good. Let's extend ourselves for those who have less. And let me let you in on a little secret: We've all been vulnerable from time to time. Remember when you have felt vulnerable and scared and alone? Remember when you felt like the under-dog? Access those feelings and then go set the table for your neighbor, cause you've been there and even if you can't understand fully, you know what it's like to feel fragile and scared. Add an extra chair. I promise there's room.

Summer Reading List

Summer is here! Longer days and warmer nights! We plan our vacations and school is out. As for Scott and I we have approximately 4 trips planned all to see family as well as go to Young Life Camp. So you better believe I've been reading on those planes! 

About 3 weeks ago I passed my first state exam (Laws and Ethics) to become a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. 

I'm ready for a little break now before I tackle my next exam so I plan to spend some time reading and (hopefully) writing! Here is what I am currently reading or have read recently: 

"The Great Divorce" by C.S. Lewis

I just finished this book today! Scott suggested I read it since I really liked Rob Bell's book "Love Wins". There's a lot of controversy about heaven and hell historically in Christianity and I wanted to see what this book was all about. It was really interesting. It reads like a fiction book with characters and dialogue but feels a bit like a dream or parable or allegory. Lewis' thinking was quite progressive for his time and our time alike. He seems to alude that anyone can go to Heaven. I also really like how Hell is depicted. It's not your traditional fire and darkness (which btw, how does that even work?!) with devils and pitchforks. Hell is called "grey town" and it just a cold, grey, joyless place. Lewis' whole idea is that the gates of Hell are locked from the inside. Heaven is for everyone who wants it.

There were some parts that were confusing to me, partially because of the language and partially because it was hard to visualize what Lewis was describing. I also did not like the end but I am a happily-ever-after kind of ending gal so no surprise there.

"Self-Compassion" by Dr Kristin Neff

Dr. Neff is the "Brene Brown" for research on self-compassion. I have to say that reading all of Brene Brown's books on shame has honestly revolutionized the way I approach myself and others. Now that I understand shame, I'm excited to dive more into what it means to show self-compassion and kindness to myself. Psychologists are continuing to move away from the "self-esteem" talk and instead pursue compassion because it's proven to be more effective. I'm only about 1/3 of the way through the book. It's really good but also pretty dense. She has exercises for you to practice as well which feel cheesy at first but are very helpful. I want to integrate more of her work into my therapy wiht my clients as well as in my personal life. You can also take her  Self-Compassion Test online. I scored a 2.42 which means I am on the low side of moderate as far as self-compassion goes. So there is room for growth! The quiz scores things like self-kindness, self-judgment and mindfulness and breaks it up into categories. I highly recommend taking it! 

"We Should All Be Feminists" by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

I think everyone should read this book. (yes everyone) It is a really quick read (as in you can read it in 20 minutes!) The book is based off of her TED talk which you can watch here. I'm sure everyone who reads this book will pick up something new and inspiring. As I'm already a feminist the concept wasn't new to me but I did learn some things. She raises awareness on how women are marginalized around the world today both in big acts and small ones.  I really resonated with her discussion on women's clothing. Often, to be taken more seriously as a professional, women feel pressure to dress more like a stereo-typical male. I have found this to be so true in my own life. Often I fear not being taken seriously if I dress too feminine. But if you think about the reverse, such as men dressing more stereo-typically female, they won't be taken seriously at all. It's cute and all when a girl dresses like a "tom boy" but when a boy dresses too "girly" people start to raise their eyebrows. This is so unfair and sexist. Why are we embarrassed to embrace femininity (rhetorical question here, history has clearly shown us why)

"Bossypants" by Tina Fey

Okay every now and then you just need to re-read one of your favorite books. This is my second time reading this book. It is hilarious! Tina Fey is so witty and smart. She writes about how women can be funny and still be women in her unique snarky way. (what a novel concept). I love her chapter on all the pressures women face to look perfect and I also love her chapter on being a mother. They both have me laughing out loud. 

"Brazen-The Courage To Find The You That’s Been Hiding" by Leeana Tankersley

Many of you who live in the San Diego area might know Leeana Tankersley as she and her husband and their three adorable kids reside here. She’s also the author of Found Art and Breathing Room (of which I read both). I adore her writing. I was lucky enough to be on her launch team which basically meant I promoted her book via my social media. (We all know how much I can rave about a book I love).  If you are my friend or family member you have received countless books from me or been talked into countless books by me (you’re welcome).

Anyway back to this book. I’m struggling to summarize it because it was SO good and my English language is failing me. This book talks about living without shame, coming out of hiding, being at home with yourself and knowing how worthy and loved we are. Her book talks about how to receive your identity, reclaim your voice and recover your soul. The book is peppered with her own personal stories both which are hilarious and give you the deep exhale (the “me too, thank God I’m not alone) feeling.

Mostly I loved the way she talked about her faith and God. It is very rare for me to really resonate with the way authors talk about faith. I have grown tired and weary of the way mainstream evangelical Christian authors write. This isn’t really a bash on them. In all honesty it just further cemented the idea in my head that something was wrong with me. I just couldn’t seem to relate to the way authors talked about God. And if I’m being really vulnerable, it’s been hard for me to connect with the way the majority of Christians talk about God. It’s left me feeling isolated and different. (I mean different in a way that makes you feel anxious not cool and unique).

Once I discovered authors like Rachel Held Evans and Glennon Doyle Melton I finally started to feel like maybe, just maybe, I could experience faith a different way. Maybe it was okay for me express it differently. Leeana’s words fell on me like soft warm light and set me free to listen (rather than reject) all the parts of me that felt suspicious of mainstream Christianity. She reminded me that God knows our stories and does not abandon them. God arrives in the way we will receive. She talked about how God reminded her that the Triune God transcends gender. Wowwwwwwww did I love this you guys.

I had a very similar image of God as Leeana describes in her book. (a white middle aged Dutch dude) She completely normalized why I would feel odd and uncomfortable being alone praying while this dude watched me from the corner of the room. (not very comforting) She talks about how throughout Scripture God visited people in many forms and faces such as a burning bush, a cloud, a teacher, a carpenter, a friend, a strong wind, a mother, a Savior. She talks about expanding throughout her book, (rather than clinging to staying small, we embrace big). And so since then, I have been wondering, maybe God is actually inviting me to expand my image Her beyond the white Dutch dude? (not that I have anything against Dutch dudes!)

I could go on and on, chapter by chapter on this book but I don’t want to share all it’s treasures! I want to save some so you can go out and buy the book. And if you happen to want to read more about my thoughts on the book or about one of my favorite chapters  head on over to this post about being frivolous. (and why it's awesome)

"The Mysterious Benedict Society" by Trenton Lee Stewart

This was such a fun novel! It’s very clever and has well-developed characters. It’s full of suspense, mystery and adventure. The book starts off with an ad in the newspaper requesting children to come take a test of intelligence. If they pass the test they are sent on a secret mission. Four kids pass the test with varying degress of intellect. I love that the author doesn’t promote one type of intellect but focuses on traits such as love, loyalty, resourcefulness and working together as a team. 

"Christy Miller" 12 book series by Robin Jones Gunn 

Yes I am re-reading a childhood favorite and have been happily transported back to my teen years! I love Robin Jones Gunn as an author. Even all these years later (15 to be exact-whoa!) I can still sense the author’s sincere love and passion for her readers and for story-telling. These are your happily-ever-after books with strong Christian themes (and trigger warning: lots of purity culture talk) As an adult I feel much more grounded reading these books and have loved being transported back to the beach, to Christy’s family and friends and all her travels. These books are completely cheesy and I honestly love them. I finished book 10 last night. #shameless #christianromance

"The Collected Poems of Emily Dickinson" by Emily Dickinson and Rachel Wetzsteon

I don't know what to say about this except sometimes you need a little poetry in your life.  And do you have a theory on Emily Dickinson? There is so much mystery surrounding this woman. Did she have social anxiety? Was she a lesbian? Was she an under-cover women's rights activist? Either way her writings on nature, love and eternity are beautiful. 

What are you reading this summer? Any good recommendations? 

A Charming Tale: My Latest Pet Peeve

All they talk about is their baby!*

They used to be able to hang out.

My friends are getting married and having babies and I'm here living my dream on the beach. I win! 

She/He seems exhausted all the time.

She/He  used to be so passionate about her career.

I’m so sick of hearing about baby stuff!

While all my friends are getting married and having babies and shit, I'm over here like: I'M IN SCHOOL BITCHES!

Everyone's over here like hey I'm having babies and I'm like hey who wants to get drunk and travel the world?

And my least favorite of all: “All my friends are having babies and I’m just trying to figure out where to travel next!” *

So I might get in a little bit of hot water over here but I want to deconstruct these phrases or even this way of thinking. These memes I find all over social media and the internet are the opposite of kind.  I can’t tell you how many people have said to me, “All they talk about is their baby. UGH!!!” They think I will empathize due to the fact that I DO NOT HAVE KIDS however I have felt myself cringing every time. I feel confused about why they are complaining about their friend’s newest member of the family. 

And here’s the thing, a woman who has just had a baby is a total bad ass. Let’s break it down. She has literally had a human life push it’s way out of her vaginal canal. Or had a little baby air-lifted magically via the C section. Either way she has gone through A LOT.  Why are we mad about this?  A woman has just given LIFE. Her entire body and brain has never gone through anything this dramatic and miraculous. EVER.

I recently had someone verbally gag when I said I was going to a baby shower and she said, “UGH, I mean are you into that kind of thing?”

Um…you mean procreation? You mean populating the earth?

I didn’t know what to say.

I can’t handle how straight up rude it is for people to disrespect women who are pregnant with babies or just had a baby and now want them to go right back to talking about their careers and passions and how they will lose the baby weight. I want to literally pull my hair out.

How would we feel if a baby squirted poop on us all day and was stuck to our nipple all day? How would our ears feel after hearing screaming all day? And then to have our friend come over and think it’s not glamorous enough for his/her taste. It makes me crazzzzyyyy. Her focus isn't on her latest hobbies or her most fun passions right now because she’s keeping a baby alive for crying out loud.

We need to give her some support. Tell her she’s a bad ass and remind her that we are not a shallow duck of a friend. And for that matter, let's give new fathers some support. When I told Scott about the memes he was offended for new mothers and fathers alike! 

It can't be easy for someone to watch the person they are madly in love with go through the kind of pain labor can bring on. It can't be easy to hear the woman you believe to be stunning, harshly critique all the changes her body is going through. If fathers-to-be want to talk about their partner's birth plan I think this should be okay. 

And as it's becoming increasingly more normal for men to stay at home with their babies as their partners pursue their career I think we should applaud this rather than resent the fact that these fathers are exhausted and talk about their babies all day long. From my work experience,  I've encountered lots of stay at home dads or dads who have full custody. They are so passionate about their kids from everything to their first words, their first steps, what they fed them and what kinds of toys they like and their education. Of course they aren't going to be able to grab a beer on a random week night when they have spent all day with their new baby and have to start all over again the next morning bright and early.  

Why would we act like we are so much better and cooler cause what…we can travel and we don’t have a baby screaming in our ears and gripping our boob?! 

So maybe breast feeding versus baby formula, cloth diapers versus disposable diapers aren’t your favorite subjects! But guess what? Is the DMV, paying student loans and doing dishes your favorite subject? No! But it's part of life. This is a new parent's world now and they are responsible for the tiny life they hold. (A little more significant than keeping our cars alive and dishes clean I might add)

If our friend went through cancer or a job loss or bought a brand new house or went on a big trip, would we be rude and say "I'm sick of hearing about your interviews, job applications, chemotherapy, or culturally diverse food!" It’s so inconsiderate. And yet we do it. I hear it all the time. 

Why is it okay to talk poorly of new mothers or fathers?! This is the season the mother or father is in and why can’t we embrace this season and hold them through it. It can be extremely hard and isolating as well as rewarding and exciting. But it certainly should not be met with patronizing statements.

 Why are we dissecting every new mother's move and every choice like she’s a celebrity in People Magazine. We discuss whether or not she went back to work. Whether she breast fed or not.  We discuss her weight and how amazing it was that she “lost the baby fat”. All the while she did something far more miraculous, inspiring and life changing than do a “before and after” shot. Let’s all remember she had to gain weight to BIRTH LIFE. 

And just a side note: those who have the resources and means to travel are lucky and are rare. Just because we ARE NOT having kids doesn’t mean we necessarily get to travel. Most don’t come from such a state of privilege in which recreational and personal travel is the norm. So while not intentional, we are hurting recent mothers/fathers AND those who cannot afford to travel for fun. The population I work with can only dream of that kind of luxury. It doesn’t mean they are any less independent, strong or free than us, it just means they don’t have the income for that plane ticket. And let's be real; mothers and fathers travel too because their babies can fly for free so it's quite extreme to declare that one gets to travel INSTEAD of having babies. Some do both. Some do neither. Let's be kind to all. 

In conclusion, let’s cut these new mothers some slack and stop saying, “All they talk about is their kids or babies!”

God forbid they would talk about the human life they brought forth. Am I right?!

It’s not okay to downplay something as special and meaningful as having kids. They are sacrificing a lot of themselves to have them and I don’t think it’s anything to be ashamed of. 

Many of our moms did this for us. My mom did it for me! And guess what...she also went on to travel, write a book, get her Masters degree, her PhD and be a professor. But I can assure you she wasn't telling new moms to stop talking about their babies or bragging about her next travel adventure and calling people bitches. Good grief, she's much too classy for that.

I think if anything we can celebrate them and communicate our needs and wants with them (because after all, friendship is a two way street). If our friend who just had a baby goes MIA for an entire year, we have some space to say something! And if we are truly going through a grieving process about not having children, or finding someone we want to grow a family with, rather than saying "I win! I'm at the beach!" maybe talk to a safe friend, check in with a therapist, ask God to help you face the loss rather than make everyone else feel bad about having children. And if you happen to be someone who has decided not to have children, that is okay too! But that doesn't give us a right to judge those who are having children. 

And just for the record, all my friends ARE having babies and I be like YAY!!! And also, want to see 500 pictures of my new puppy?!

*I would like to note that being a mother or father is not the only identity one may have. One can be a parent as well as a creator, artist, writer, doctor, educator, sister, brother, daughter, son, friend and etc. I am not advocating that a female or male's significant role is only motherhood/fatherhood. We are all shot through with the divine and are image bearers of God. 
** Also how is "my friends are having babies" and now "I'm traveling" connected? It doesn't make sense. People with babies travel. People without babies travel. It's like two phrases that don't belong together. It'd be like if I said, " People be brushing their teeth... I'm gonna buy a goat" Or "People be farmers....I'm gonna go be a doctor" Or "People be in school...I just be farting" Or "People loving that beach life....I be like gonna go grab a coffee" Or "Going to the gym.... I be like I just bought a puppy!!!" Or "People be itching their butts....I be like I slept for 10 hours!"  Or make me stop pleaseeeee....

Last Minute Therapy Intervention When You Are Running Low On Creativity

It's nearing the end of the school year you guys! Kids are taking tests, going on field trips and planning their summers. As a school-site based therapist I am doing more paperwork, closing out files and filling out end of the year forms. With all of this, sometimes it's tricky to think of something creative and fun to do with our clients as we head into summer.

So I decided to create a calm collages! What are they exactly? Basically they are a collage of pictures a that inspire feelings of calmness and relaxation for your client.

You will need:

A pair of scissors
A glue stick
Magazines
Paper

What I do is go through the magazines beforehand and cut out images that I think might be calming or relaxing. I do this so that in session we don't spend the whole time just flipping through a magazine discussing celebrities or agonizing about what actually makes us feel calm.

I also do this because I would rather "screen" (especially working with elementary aged kids) what kind of content they see. I don't want them to have to feel inferior as they flip through endless pages of massive homes and perfectly clean and decorated rooms (how I love you HGTV) or pictures of celebrities before and after shots of weight loss. Ugh. #notcalming

After you've cut out a whole piles of magazine clippings you can just have them ready in case you want to use this intervention at a moment's notice or feel that it would benefit your client if they are feeling especially stressed out, anxious or angry. It's also a great thing to give them before they head into the summer. They can hang it up in their room and look at it when they are feeling big feelings. It's a very fun way for them to access their coping skills rather than just writing down a list in pencil.

You can introduce the intervention anyway you want. Sometimes having them close their eyes and practice deep breathing is a good way to start brainstorming about coping skills that help calm. Or you can jump right in! Depending on how large your paper is, have them pick 5-10 images that inspire the feeling of calm. You can play music or just talk while they choose images and then paste them to their paper. After this is done, I have them discuss why they chose their images. And that's it!

I made one as well for example and because yes I need a calm collage too. With my upcoming exam quickly approaching I too need to be reminded of what relaxes and calms me. My collage includes:

Painting
Washi Tape
A Bubble Bath
Writing
Books

If I was to add one more thing, it would be my puppy Lenny when he is sleepy. He is quite wild when he is not tired so that can be more activating than relaxing. My mornings with sleepy fuzzy Lenny when he is just waking up are some of my favorite!

What things help you feel calm? What are your go-to therapy interventions?

Puppy Love

We have a puppy!!!

Amidst working two jobs and studying for my MFT licensure exam I have felt swallowed up in the hustle and bustle of it all. I have felt like I am underground and my hope is that I'll come up for air come June after I've taken the exam. 

But I simply have to tell you about our newest family member and share some pictures. While raising a puppy is quite a bit of work I can't think of something more comforting, cozy and calming then coming home to our little Lenny after a long day.

We received Leonard about 2 months ago from a local animal shelter. Apparently little Lenny was a stray wondering around either in Mexico or Imperial County before he was picked up. Their best guess was that he was about 4 months old. And his breed is a total wild card but he is supposedly a mix between a shepherd, pug and beagle. 

I am SO grateful we are able to rescue the little guy and give him a forever home. We are madly in love (almost embarrassingly so). He has brought us so much happiness and laughter. I can't imagine being without a dog now. Here are a few pictures!