The New Year rushed in with a crash. A literal bang, crash and squash. I dropped my iPhone on concrete for the 182875983987 time but this time it went entirely black. This led to a whole slew of chaotic events, dog sitting, poop on my shoes, working a shift without a phone, forgetting my work keys, forgetting to clock out etc… When I have no phone it’s literally like I lose a part of my brain. Scott got sick with some of respiratory cold in the meantime. I continued playing along with the New Year saga with great commitment. I locked myself out of the house. I got a flat tire. I got reprimanded by my boss at work. I spilled my salad (aka flung) it across our staff meeting one day. Just as Scott recovered from the respiratory cold he contracted the flu. I went to work only to find myself sprinting off to the bathroom and texting hysterically to find a cover counselor.
Enter Scott and I with the flu. We found our rhythem for sure. It involved saltine crackers, netflik marathons and a Target run to the pharmacy. On the fun days we managed to eat Chiptole. On the super fun days we got to go to Urgent Care. I was even graced with the presence of an IV to give me fluids for dehydration. Scott and I realized we were beginning to lose it when we discovered the most exciting things that had happened to us in the past few days were that Zoe was rescued (West Wing) and that Rory told Dean she loves him (Glimore Girls) and lastly that we had entered to win an HGTV dream home. We began to obsess about this to the point that we literally believed we would win and would soon be swept off to Martha’s Vineyard.
When I get sick I don’t slow down. I am uneasy, on edge and anxious. If my body slows down my brain will certainly not. I feel frantic. I hate being sick. I feel crazy like I am losing my shit (figuratively and literally) I know I’m truly sick when I avoid coffee. And I know Scott is truly sick when he avoids playing games. These are our favorite things.
But what better time to cling to my word for the 2015 year.
I fell across the word abundance in an organic and fateful (and yes I dare to say spiritual way) I felt as if God was giving me this word for the year much like I have been given hope, rescue and tenderness the past few years.
Janice (or affectionately called Nina) was my roommate for almost 6 years of my college and graduate life in Minnnesota and in San Diego. While she is no longer my roommate she is one of my besties. Her parents came out for Christmas from freezing Minnesota and I was able to spend some time with them. Her mom is a Mumsy and she is just like a warm blanket. She is so gentle and kind and squishy (in that you can squish her and she likes it). She began to talk to me about the losses in life, the Hard with a capital H, and the darkness we all encounter in life. She talked about her essential oils and one oil in particular that gave her comfort.
She said she would put the oil on her and inhale it’s scent of orange, frankincense, myrrh, and cinnamon. She would pray for abundance for all her kids. She would pray abundance over her and husband. I found this especially resilient as this Mumsy is the same one who lost her son just a couple years ago (my friend Derek) and my Nina’s brother. I found it touching and tender. I found it to be what my heart needed to hear.
From that story you can probably guess I’m not talking about abundance in the prosperity gospel sense. (How I WISH I believed in the prosperity gospel) I am talking about an abundance inside and certainly I will pray for it on the outside as well.
After I had talked to Mumsy I found in my journal a couple verses I had written out earlier in the month.
“We went through fire and water but You brought us to a place of abundance” Psalm 66:12
“You gave abundant showers, O God, You refreshed the weary inheritance, Your people settled in it, and from Your bounty, O God, You provided for the poor” Psalm 67:9-10
“ So Jesus said to them, ‘Children, you don’t have any fish do you?’ They replied, ‘No’. He told them, ‘Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some’. So they threw the net, and were not able to pull it in because of the large number of fish” John 21:6
A very large quantity of something
An extremely plentiful quantity
An over sufficient supply
I tried to look up an antonym for abundance and only one word came up.
Whew. Scarcity. That scary word that fuels so much of my dread anxiety of loss and never enoughness and performance and comparison and trying to catch up.
When I inhale scarcity I lose oxygen for my joy.
We are so afraid of not having enough. Of not being enough. We believe we will run out of enoughness and abundance. We think there is simply not enough to go around.
When one of my favorite authors started talking about just this principle on Instagram the other day; I knew this was and HAD to be my word for the year.
“There is always more on its way- more opportunities, more ideas, more love. Think abundance-always think abundance. Belief in abundance is the source of all generosity and peace. Know that there is enough. Know that you are enough. Know that you have enough.” –Glennon Melton
Despite 2015 started off quite rocky I am praying abundance over it. I am soaking up abundance in the way I know how. I am chasing abundance and letting it chase me.
I would love to know how your New Year’s has started off and what words have you been pondering? What are you leaving behind in 2014 and what are you moving toward in 2015?