Spiritual Ladders and What Really Matters

Understanding success in God’s eyes is a tricky thing. I just read Matthew 6&7 and I’m trying to see how God views “success.” Our culture is unbelievably preoccupied with success. We want to be successful at school, in our careers, our marriages and in our friendships. As Christians it often seems that we are obsessed with “spiritual success,” yet many of us need to take a time out and really think about what that means. It seems to me that far too often we view spirituality as something that can be earned, achieved, or mastered. We take spirituality and try and make it into something akin to a corporate ladder, that can be climbed all the way to the top.

Nope sorry. It doesn’t work like that.

But seriously haven’t we all heard Christians talking about being at a “deeper level” or someone being a more “serious” Christian? Or what about the Christians who are just a little above average Christians? What about the ones who are clearly set-apart or chosen? Called to a higher purpose? The ones who are getting the crowns? Sure, there are the "Christian janitors", but then there are the "Christian PRESIDENTS".

Who do you think God’s finds successful?!?!?  In the past, when I thought about spiritual success, I have often let culture write that narrative for me. I think about numbers first of all. How many people did they bring to Christ? How many books did they publish? How big is their church? How long do they pray daily? How often do they read their Bible? How many mission trips have they gone on?

Numbers on numbers on numbers.

Rung after rung after rung on the ladder.

Yet the more I’ve thought about it, the more I have realized that this ladder of spirituality is pretty rickety and unstable. With each step, you feel more successful, but less stable. At any minute, your foot could slip and down you could stumble. This is the image I get of “spiritual success.” It feels un-attainable and yet people all over seem to be achieving it!

I really enjoyed reading Pete Scazzero’s blog recently. He talks about success and how freeing it is to live and lead from the center of God’s definition of success.

He went on to explain that if the ministry of John the Baptist was to be put on a bar, it would peak and then have a steady and precipitous decline.

He also talked about the prophets, Jeremiah and Isaiah who both served God with passion but most people just wrote them off. They didn’t exactly have a “successful ministry” if you will. No one wanted to listen to them!

Lastly he talks about Jesus in his blog and how some of his disciples turned away and deserted him (John 6:66). This certainly does not sound like a ministry where numbers are increasing and favor is just exploding.

Tonight as I read Matthew 6 and 7, it made me think about what success is and isn’t. I had some thoughts. I’m not exactly a theologian and I didn’t go to great lengths to have a thorough exegesis on these chapters but this is what came to mind…

Success in God’s eyes isn’t about having money or being spiritually loud.

You don’t spend energy on stuff that doesn’t give back.

You put your soul and heart before material and wordly success, you put it before awards, your pant size, your full calendar, your nonprofit, what others think of you, and your GPA. You put it before being perceived as spiritual.

Your heart is intimately linked with your treasure. So we seek to make our treasure carry eternal weight.

Spiritually speaking, success is SEEKING, ASKING, KNOCKING. It is not judging, should-ing, and shaming. It’s knowing that good gifts, enough and abundance are around every corner.

Success in God’s eyes is narrow, it is not wide. By this I don’t mean it’s hard to get to God. I am not talking about one-way tickets to hell or heaven. I'm talking about our lives right now. We’d rather do things culture’s way and climb a “spiritual ladder.” We’d rather get really busy and really distracted saving the world before we sit down and stare at our souls. It is narrow because it's not natural and it's not always easy. It takes intentionality to choose the road less traveled. 

Spiritual success in God’s eyes isn’t doing miracles, prophesying or speaking in tongues necessarily, not that these things are bad. It’s about just being with Jesus. It’s seeing God’s image all around and treating others like that’s the case. We treat them like they are the light and salt and the image carriers they are.

It’s standing our sacred ground even when the storm hits and our house or world threatens a deadly collapse. It’s believing we are loved, valuable and enough. Sometimes we just learn to breathe through it and ask for the rescue. One day, we open our eyes, the storm has passed and the house still stands.

Success to God isn’t about being a hero. God doesn’t need more heroes. It isn’t about having a busy schedule, being frantic and having a following of 1 million. It’s about giving to the poor, the weak and those in need (and some days YOU ARE THE POOR SO GET OVER YOURSELF ALREADY and start giving to yourself). We don’t need to shout when we give (sorry, I just did). We don’t have to yell or join 10 nonprofits or bring 100 people through the “become a Christian” prayer and then post about it and create a bar chart on the size of your ministry.

When we pray, we pray to be rescued and delivered daily.

We pray for daily bread

We stay present in today.

Grounded in enough.

Tomorrow will come but today is here and so we stay mindful of right now.

We ask that heaven gets a little closer to the here and now.

Success is hearing God reminding you….

I see you

I know you feel small

I know you don’t think you measure up to the world’s definition of spiritual success

But here, listen

Listen

I don’t need you to parade your frantic-hectic-urgent do-gooder, do-better, schedule around.

I just want you.

You’re enough.

Here’s what I actually want you to do

I want you to find some space, some sacred ground, your tranquil room, your safe place….

I want you to close the door on all the noise, the toxic comparisons, the bars, levels, graphs and pie charts of measuring true Christianity, close the door on spiritual performance anxiety and never enoughs, shoulds, always, musts; close the door on your narrative of what spiritual success and favor means. 

Let me erase the numbers, and let’s paint your ladder. What is it reaching for anyway?  Let’s stop striving to reach unending heights. Let’s lay it on the floor and pretend it’s a blank canvas. We’ll start there.

Your Fool Proof Two-Step Guide To Achieving Your Bikini-Body

It’s about that time again where the covers of all the latest fashion and fitness magazines are giving us tips for how to become bikini- body-ready. Everywhere on Pinterest there are workout plans, new diets and life style changes to achieve that swimsuit-body goal.

Everyone seems to believe it is very necessary to get that body as soon as possible however no one can seem to agree on how long it will take. Just Google it (or maybe don’t…) Apparently it can take anywhere from 1 week to 2 months.

Since deep down I’m a little rebellious (okay it’s actually very much on the surface) I would like to challenge this status quo.

Who on earth is benefiting from our frantic rush and urgency to get our bikini body on at lightening speed? 

And who exactly told us what a bikini body looks like?

As women we are constantly inundated with messages about how we should look.This includes our hair, our skin, our bodies, our faces, and even how we smell. We hear these messages spring, fall, and winter. But I think the pressure starts to rise and heat up as summer starts to unfold.

Brene Brown, author of I Thought It Was Just Me, writes, “Appearance expectations exist to keep us spending our valuable resources-money, time and energy-on trying to meet some ideal that is not achievable.”

Personally I hear the pressure each spring as summer our inevitable future is waiting around the corner. I hear my clients talk about avoiding certain foods and I hear them talk about their stomachs in degrading ways. I hear the urgency in their voice as they talk about “not working out enough”. Then I hear my friends and they are certainly more used to the pressure but not immune to it. I can see the shame in their eyes.

As for me, I can totally relate as I took 3 whole months to find a swimsuit. Because obviously finding the perfect fitting swimsuit will erase all body shame and fear. Right?

According to Brown, Americans spend more each year on beauty than we do on education.

Allow this to upset you. No wonder we (me) so easily give into our culture’s narrative of what beautiful is. We spend our money on something we are clearly not educated on.

Let’s break it down*.

The $38 billion hair industry
The $33 billion diet industry
The $24 billion skincare industry
The $18 billion makeup industry
The $1.4 billion over-the-counter teeth whitening industry**

These were statistics from 2008. This year, the diet industry has brought in $60 billion. That is a WHOLE lot of our hard earned money!

Think of all we could do with that money. Some of it could go towards the foster system or adoptions; some of it could go towards educating others on eating disorders, racism, sexism and ageism. It could go towards helping to end sex trafficking. Maybe it could towards helping those who are persecuted for their faith in other countries. It could go towards paying for someone’s college education. Maybe it could go towards helping those recovering from job loss, or your church family, or or or… and the list goes on.

I am by no means trying to shame anyone for buying make-up or working out or wearing perfume. I do all of these things.

Rather, I am saying it is time for us to stop letting these industries TELL US WHAT beauty means.

Let’s challenge the why behind are working-out and our make-up wearing lives.The pressure we feel to have a swimsuit-ready-body is supported by a multi-billion dollar industry. Even the most intellectual of us get sucked in.

And certainly I am not trying to shame these industries because they are under a lot of pressure as well. They depend on us to believe them about what is beautiful so that they can pay their mortgages and provide for their families. They need to put food on the table and they want to send their kids to college just like us. I don’t often like how they go about marketing and advertising but I can understand it. I get why it’s effective.

So next time you think you need to try the next diet fad, or get on new rigorous work out plan or nit pick every part of your body before you can go out in public in a bathing suit I want you to ask yourself a question.

Am I letting culture define beauty for me? And if I am, how is this hurting me?

Also I have a very short two-step plan for how to achieve a-bikini-ready-body if you are interested. You could spend two months trying to achieve it or you could go ahead and participate in my two-step plan…which takes approximately 60 seconds. And, it’s free!

GUARANTEED TWO-STEP PLAN TO A BIKINI-READY-BODY

1.   Do you have a body?
2.   Do you have a bikini?

If you answered yes to the questions above then, congratulations! You are bikini-body-ready!!! Meet you at the beach!

* Statistics and research taken from I Thought It Was Just Me by Brene Brown, Ph.D., LMSW.
** MSNBC

20 Signs that you ARE INDEED Growing Up

Being 29 years old has made me think about a lot of things. It's crazy to think that in a few short months I will head into a whole new decade. The 30sssssssss. It's made me think about how I've grown in my 20's. The idea of becoming an adult is so vague, so gradual, you barely realize it's happening and then suddenly you look back and think, wow, I'm kind of adultish! (Besides the fact that I STILL enjoy snuggling random puppies in the neighborhood,  and STILL have the urge to jump on hotel beds as well as  STILL thinking that a hand stand in the pool is pretty cool. I also generally need prizes to motivate me just like I did when I was a child. )

Maybe I'll write a blog next on "signs that you'll always remain a child at heart". But for now, here's the trusty signs that you are becoming an ADULT!!! Celebrate your stunning adult life!

1.    You have learned how to say no. (this is the height of luxury!!!!)

2.   You have learned how to use other kitchen appliances besides the microwave and the keurig.

3.   You know what a savings account is.

4.   You don’t plan your weekends around hangovers anymore.

5.   You don't have to be like everyone else to be happy.

6.   Dashboard Confessional is no longer your favorite band.

7.  .You don’t make jokes about gender, disability, or race. (and hopefully you never did…but now you at least know these are real issues with real wounds)

8.   Good health insurance excites you like nothing else!!!

9.   You are able to listen to other perspectives besides your own.

10.  You vote in the elections instead of complaining about the government.

11.  You know what the word empathy means and you can remember the last time you accessed it on behalf of someone else’s pain.

12.  You no longer believe you are invincible. You willingly take vitamins. Sometimes you go to the doctor. You don’t brag about “never being sick”. 

13.   You have a faint understanding of what a 401k is.

14.   Instead of using non-real adjectives to describe experiences or feelings, such as “that’s so gay” or “that’s retarded” or “I want to bang him” you put your grammar to good use and use a thesaurus when struggling.

15.   Doing laundry is now an event. You can’t go out.

16.    It is exciting to go to Target to get cleaning products.

17.     It’s a relief to go to bed by 10pm. Extra fun points for reading in bed.

18. You've figured out what you believe and what your values are. 

19.  You don't have to have alcohol to have a fun time.

20. You don't let life happen to you. You are intentional with what you are after. 

Clearly this is something adults do. 

Endocrinologist! Needles! Sprouty Bread! Oh my!

I thought it was about time I gave you all a little update on my recent pre-diabetes diagnosis. A couple weeks ago I had my first appointment ever with an endocrinologist. She had kind eyes and a way of listening that kept me talking.

She told me I didn't need medication yet to manage it, nor did I need insulin. Rather she talked about nutrition and balance. She said she wanted to re-test my H1C again in June (which spans your blood sugar levels over a 3 month time period). She didn't say anything that made me feel labeled or scared. And she did NOT mention a thing about weight much to my relief. In fact she told me if I wanted to eat cake I should. (well, she's just the best !)

She gave me blood sugar test strips, a lancet and a monitor. Scott and I have …let's just say…"convenient" fears and phobias. Scott is deathly afraid of needles. The first time I went to the acupuncturist he sat in a chair in the corner FACING the wall as if he was in a time-out corner. I do not look at his face when I give blood because usually he is cringing his face so hard it looks like he's going to crack open like dried dirt. Unfortunately I am not all that innocent. I don't' handle blood that well…specifically blood that comes out of me. I can look at blood and feel fine but something about it coming out of me makes me pass out.

Therefore this whole needle+blood thing I now had to do was quite the adventure! I am proud to say that I can now test my blood sugar without passing out and Scott can be in the same room as me and not face the opposite wall.

Progress people!

Another point of progress has been getting used my nutritionist's recommendations for my meal plan. Enter MASSIVE breakfast. Ezekiel bread. And ALL of the protein. At least that's what it's felt like to me. I'm happy to say I have actually become used to the sprouty, gritty taste of the bread AND have found I am far less shaky in the mornings. I can now have my coffee without shaking my way till lunch. Little did I know that a bowl of cereal was just not enough for me.

So there you have my update; ezekiel bread, needles and the endocrinologist. Thank you for all your prayers, continued support and love you've given me!

Needles+Blood=Grumpy Faces

Can Women Have IT ALL (Part 3)

Welcome back to Part 3 of my series on Can Women Have IT ALL! Now it's time to share the hardest part of my "do's and don'ts" I created my list of what I don't do. I am telling myself that creating this list is to set me free so I can prioritize my DO list. It's always been hard for me to say no. I am learning though. Sometimes saying "no" is the brave and sacred act of my day. 

My nature is more, but this season is less. Paring down to barer bones, making space, scraping away. We love big stories, ones that involve passports, mountains and photo-ops. But sometimes being courageous means less, quieter, stiller, smaller." -Shauna Niequist

THINGS I DON'T DO:

I don’t do dry cleaning. If you are a high-maintenance shirt, tough luck to you-you are going in the washing machine like all my other clothes. Stop trying to be better than the others.

I don’t clean out my email inbox…I know I know…but time is finite.

I don’t do sexism and I don’t hang out with people who are fiercely committed to this. I don’t hang out with people who only discuss how their and other people’s bodies look as well as their next work out plan.

I don’t support inequality or injustice.

I don’t bully my body.

I don’t really take out the trash or do recycling (please be kind to me). I don’t sew. I don’t garden, though I might like to someday.

I don’t wear heels.

I don’t wear fancy sunglasses and I don’t color my hair monthly. My roots are just going to be there and I hope it doesn’t offend anyone.

And this one is just so difficult for me to say, because I love giving gifts, but sending gifts 24x a year across the country is no longer sustainable. My immediate family receives gifts from me. And Scott. After that, a handful of close friends who live in San Diego MIGHT receive a prize at some point.

I do not seek to make my apartment a “show home” from HGTV even though I would secretly love it. Sterile clean is not sustainable for me. Sometimes I have piles.

I don’t do perfection. I aim to be present and kind and brave, not perfect.

I don’t do a lot of math, spread sheets or things involving numbers. I don’t enjoy paying bills, it makes me dizzy. (okay, but we DO pay our bills)

I seek to not shame myself. I seek not to shame others.

I don’t tan or lay at the beach to do so. I will burn. I don't do facial appointments. However I will use cucumbers and my own homemade version of one. 

 I don’t wear anything that tries to squish my neck. I don’t wear tight clothes because I value breathing. I buy extra large leggings and this is truth.

I don’t add extra things to my schedule to feel worthy or productive.

I don’t talk on the phone every day like I used to. I need one day where I “un-plug”.

I don’t keep my car clean besides throwing out old coffee cups.

I don’t work 40+ hours a week because I value my emotional energy for my clients and myself MORE than the 40+ hours would make for me financially.

I don’t cook or bake but I make. I make salad, sandwiches and the occasional dinner. I make candles and my own dry shampoo and make-up remover. I make my own wall art and stationary sometimes too. I do not make my own scarves, pillows or blankets. I do not upholster anything. I don’t even know what it means.

I don’t go to concerts, clubs or bars after 9pm. It is too loud and I am too tired.

I don’t volunteer for 10 nonprofits. I don’t save the world even though I desperately want to. I focus on my own backyard (ahem, cement porch) and take deep breath. I focus on living my story and not someone else’s.