Blog-Tember Day 13 | My Current Mood: Fall

Today's Prompt: Make a mood board! Are you brainstorming a room re-do, a wardrobe capsule or already planning for the holidays? Show us your ideas!

You guys. It cannot be said enough. I love fall. Everyone is grieving the loss of summer while I have been anticipating the end of summer since the beginning. (that sounds terrible!) We don't have air-conditioning in our little apartment and I don't enjoy being sweaty so I eagerly anticipate fall. But besides that fall brings me so many happy memories of pumpkin patches, apple picking, the smell of pumpkin spice, leaves crunching and cozy candles burning.

This year I am planning a little fall gathering. I've always wanted to do a "favorite things" party where all the guests bring a favorite something and you have a gift exchange. Of course, my life was too busy (and the thought of hosting and trying to make my place look immaculate was enough for me to lose immediate motivation) But forget that! If I wait my whole life for a perfect house and for things to "slow down" I'll never have my beloved party. Scott told me the other day, "Babe, you've been talking about this party for three years, you just need to do it!" He even brought me home the cutest pumpkin the other day so I'm pretty sure he's trying to keep me accountable. lol.

After hosting and planning my good friend's baby shower in which close to 50 guests were invited you could say I gained a little bit of confidence. So I picked a date and tried to keep it simple. No seven course dinner, just drinks and appetizers. I bought a fall sweater for Lenny and I bought some cute napkins and plates. Everyone is to bring a "fall favorite" for under 7 dollars for the gift exchange.

So my mood board is some things I've picked up and have loved while party planning!

From Left To Right:

Paper Straws: Amazon
Hello Fall Napkins: Target
Fall into Autumn Barnwood Sign: Kirklands
Vanilla Pumpkin Marshmallow Candle: Bath and Body Works
Orange Washi Tape: Target (I actually got some with little pumpkins on them, they're under "harvest embellishments")

Can't wait to see your ideas and mood boards! 

Blog-Tember Day 12 | Life Swap or Not

Happy Tuesday friends! I hope your week if off to a great start! The weather is cloudy and cool today in San Diego making me so excited to pull out some warmer clothes. There is still time to join Blog-Tember 2016. Join us!!!

Today's Prompt: If you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be and why?

I thought long and hard about this one. I contemplated between wanting to be my favorite authors (Brene Brown, Glennon Doyle Melton, Shauna Niequist) because I would love to have a career of writing and publishing books.

I then contemplated being one of my most looked up to therapists, Rebecca. She started her own practice called, Potentia; dedicated to those recovering from eating disorders and the whole spectrum of trauma. Her team is very collaborative and includes a nutritionist, a yoga instructor and workshops dedicated to shame resilience and redefining failure. She has two kids and owns her own home. She's passionate, intelligent, determined and empathetic and she practices what she preaches.

I thought about trying out being President for a day to increase my empathy for what a truly difficult job it is. I would live in the White House and have someone clean for me while I changed a couple policies that day.

Maybe I would be Laurene Powell Jobs whose net worth is 14.4 billion so I could spend as much money as I want when I go shopping. I could buy my whole family plane tickets to come visit me and I could travel anywhere I wanted whenever I wanted.

But nothing really stuck*. The truth is I would want to be myself for the day. I don't say this because my life is perfect and shiny and glistening. I say that because I know enough to know that no one's life really is. No matter how successful or wealthy or prestigious your life is; there's still a human underneath whose "glistening" is really sweat, whose "shine" is really grease and whose "perfection" is only perception.

I might live in a small apartment and not own a home. I might not have kids yet. And my career might be extremely daunting all of the time. But still, at the end of the day, I choose me to be.

I may have gone through some intense loss, I may have experienced things I wish I could stuff in a closet and throw out the key, I may have wondered why my brain seems so predisposed to anxiety, but still I choose me.

With me, at least I know my mess. I am very acquainted with it at this point. I know how it ticks. I'm not afraid of my mess anymore.

And I've also experienced great recovery, launching freedom, and authentic grinning. I have not been made rich by inheritance or by my career. But I've been made rich by my husband, Scotty and his love for me. I've been made wealthy by having Lenny as my sweet puppy. I've been given friends and family who pursue me, fight for me, stand by me and advocate for me and this has given me wings.

I always feared that if I got quiet enough, really looked inside of myself I'd find someone small and terrified and fragile. In order to avoid such a conclusion of myself I stayed busy, lived in chaos, numbed myself with an eating disorder, and pursued external things to prove I was okay. I pursued a higher education, being thin, rocky romantic relationships, and tried to outrun my anxiety.

But eventually I stopped running. I bent over after my marathon and strained for air, to breathe again. I was shaky and sweaty but I finally dared to look inside of me. At first it was just a quick glance. 

Instead of running, I kept coming back to look at her, at me, the person inside of me who was there all along. I started looking at her longer and longer. 

What I found was surprising. Once I got quiet and listened and everything external that claimed my worthiness was stripped away, I saw the real me.

And she was strong.

She was a fighter.

She was passionate and engaged and intuitive.

She was a warrior.

And oh my goodness she was not small.

The world maybe told her to be small and thin and little but she was not.

And the world may have told her to live in terror and panic but she was done with that.

I soon realized all my external stuff (my productivity, my anorexia, my anxiety, my busy chaos) did not keep me safe. It didn't have to keep me safe because I had a warrior inside.

I listened and I waited and I got quiet and there I was. There I realized God was not outside of me, something I had to search and hustle and bustle for. God was within me. The Spirit of God dwelled within me. I was grounded and anchored internally, not externally as I had thought I must strive to be.

If you're reading this and thinking Well, if you knew me you would know that on the inside I am not strong. I only appear strong.

I completely resonate with that feeling. I was convinced for so long that my mess made me weak. 

I have something to tell you; you have a heroine waiting to be discovered inside. She isn't out there, in the next self-help book, or bible study or podcast. She doesn't live in that country or work that job over there. She lives inside of YOU. Spend some time with her. Turn off all the lights, turn off the distraction, light those candles and listen to your insides, even if just for 5 minutes. It might be painful but trust me you can handle hearing from her. She needs to be heard.

"Deep in their roots, all flowers keep the light", Theordore Roethke wrote. That's the truth. Deep inside each of us is divine light.

Inside of me is the Light so for today I choose to be me.

* Okay if I really had to choose who to swap with for one day I would choose my puppy, Lenny. Lenny your life is easy and awesome and all you have to do is eat, poop, sleep and play with your toys and jump on your parents and sneak food off the table.  I know you hate bath time but seriously bubbles and someone massaging your head constantly? I choose your life. 

Blog-Tember Day 12 | Books Books and more Books!

Happy Monday friends! Off to another blogging week! Today I am off work and had a ton of studying to do. Of course my printer struggled, ran out of black ink, my lecture froze and Leonard ran around the house barking and growling acting like he's never had a walk a day in his life. This is the way things go right?

I made a pact with myself that if I made it through the first lecture I could post my blog! After all, I'd rather talk about books I'm reading than clinical theories! So let's get started!

Today's Prompt: Three books! One you just read, one you're currently reading and one you want to read! 

JUST READ:

Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton

I read it in one day and it was amazing! I need to do a full book review on this but for now, head on over to Amazon and buy it!

CURRENTLY READING:

Bird By Bird, Some Instructions On Writing and Life by Anne Lammot

Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist

The Sin of Certainty: Why God Desires our Trust More than our Correct Beliefs by Peter Enns

WANT TO READ:

The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo

I know this is super trendy right now and I feel cheesy picking this one but I'm very curious about it! Since I've been cleaning out our closets and guest room and getting ride of lots of clothes I feel inspired by de-cluttering. I always think about Mindy Kaling from the Mindy Project when says, "I did that Japanese decluttering thing where you hold something and if it doesn't bring you joy you throw it out. I got rid of all my vegetables and an electric bill" Lol.

I usually am reading a fun fiction book along with my non-fiction books so it's weird that I haven't started one yet. You can also read more my love of books and book reviews here.

Excited to see what you all are currently reading! 

Blog-Tember Day 11 | I love you Instagram

Today's Prompt: Round up your favorite Instagrammars! Who should we follow?

WHO: Glennon Doyle Melton
WHAT: Founder of Momastery & Together Rising. Author of Carry On Warrior and Love Warrior.
WHERE: Find her at glennondoylmelton
WHY: AWWWWW...she is a amazing! I saw her speak about a year ago and her most recent book just came out, Love Warrior. You guys, I read it in a ONE day!!! I could not put it down. Glennon is a recovering "everything" she says and shares her struggles openly. She is upfront about her struggle with anxiety, depression, and her recovery from bulimia and addiction to alcohol. Her blog and Instagram always encourage me to have hope and to know that love always wins.

WHO: Puppies of Instagram:
WHAT: Meet your squad goals but adding puppies.
WHERE: Find them at puppiesofinstagram
WHY: Cause if you need some fuzzy cuteness in your day, this is the place to go!

WHO: Coffeesim
WHAT: A subscription for the coffee lover in you, delivered fresh to your front door every month
WHERE: Find them at mycoffeeism
WHY: Honestly, I'm not a subscriber. I just LOVE their coffee pictures :)

WHO: Megan Jayne Crabbe
WHAT: Body Positive Feminist ED Warrior
WHERE: Find her at bodyposipanda
WHY: Megan is such a courageous and brave soul! She recovered from anorexia a couple years ago and wanted to create an Instagram to help promote body positivity. Her Instagram has blown up due to her courage and vulnerability. She is a big fan of the belly roll love, exposing diet industry lies and wearing pastels. She has inspired me so much and I know helps so many others learn to stop hating their bodies and instead start loving them.

Who do you follow on Instagram? I'm excited to find out! I haven't found a travel one I really like or a comic relief one so if you guys have any suggestions I'd love them!

Blog-Tember Day 10 | A Day in the Life : Saturday

You guys! We've made it 10 days of blogging! High five to us! We are 1/3 of the way there. I love this writing challenge. When I first started this challenge 3 years ago I figured it would help my writing but it's also helped me look at photography differently too. People love to visualize what you're writing. I might be a true amateur photographer but I've sure enjoyed it.

Today's Prompt: A Day In Your Life. Take Us Through it With You By Sharing A Photo Each Hour Of The Day

Well it's Saturday so this will be tricky as my Saturday changes from weekend to weekend but it will be fun to share! On Saturdays Scott and I sleep in (at least I do), get coffee at local spot and spend time reading there, walk Lenny and spend time with friends. We try to keep it fun and light so we can recover from the week!


9:00 am: Wake Up. I woke up with a headache which is the WORST so I'm taking it easy.  I've read some blogs, fed the puppy breakfast and watched a Portlandia with Scott on Netflix while he worked on my tight shoulders. Next up is Dark Horse Coffee Roasters. But for now Lenny is laying on top of my leg and Scott is wrapping presents for his sisters' birthdays. I wouldn't have it any other way.

10:00 am: Due to pounding headache I'm using this awesome Narayan balm. I figure I'm probably not the only who has body pain from time to time so thought I'd show this little gem off! My massage therapist uses it on me and it's amazing. I ordered it off Amazon and it's only 9.62! It has menthol and white camphor (what does this mean and #whocares) AND smells wonderful. #priorities

11:00 am: It's coffee time! This is one of my favorite parts of my day. Scott and I budget for a coffee out once a week so I always look forward to getting my cold brew latte. Dark Horse Coffee Roasters is about 7 blocks from our house so we love taking Leonard on a little walk down there to get our coffee. 

12:00 pm: I did some reading and journaling. This book is so good!!!

1:00pm: I worked on organizing! I bought theses shelves from Marshalls last night and I love them!

2:10 pm: We took Lenny to his vet appointment and they explained pet insurance to us. So many options. #ohmy

2:50pm: Scott and I grab California burritos and head to the bay to meet our friends for a doggie play date! 

3:50pm We just love Fiesta Island! There is so much space to roam and play. We walked a 2.5 mile loop and even got the pups out in the water! 

4:30pm: I give Lenny a bath since he's all sandy and wet. He does not enjoy his baths at all. 

5:00pm: Lenny gets some snuggle time + salami. He had to endure two things he hates: the vet and getting a bath. :)

6:00-9:00pm: These hours flew by and they consisted of Scott and I cleaning our floors. (swiffering and vacuuming #superexciting) I also did some emails and Scott made us quesadillas for dinner. :)

9:15pm: Time for a movie and ice-cream! I love this chocolate gelato. We decided to watch the first Harry Potter since Scott just finished newest book (the 8th one!). 

12:00am: Nightie Night :)

I'm excited to see your pictures and read about your day! 

Blog-Tember Day 9 | Travel Dreams

Today's Prompt: If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

This is such a fun prompt! Thanks Brave Love Blog! It's so exciting to dream about travel. I love exploring a new space, sounds and smells.

Italy

Ever since I was 14 and read novels based off of Italy I had been longing to go. My dream came true for our honeymoon 13 years later. I absolutely adored Tuscany. We stayed in a small charming little town called Lucca and later went on to Rome to explore all the sights.

Scotland

I've been dreaming of castles and rolling green hills for years and now finally after saving and saving we are going! In November we fly off to London and will train or rent it up to Scotland. I'm especially looking forward to seeing St. Andrews.  It's a good thing I like the rain. :)

Portland

It's so funny that I live in San Diego and have not been to Portland but I can't wait to go someday. I want to try all their coffee and visit Powells, the largest independent bookstore in the world. (that sounds crazy to me that is what "they" say).

I'm so excited to read about all of your travel dreams! Happy blogging friends!

Blog-Tember Day 8 | A Peek Inside My Space

Today is Day 8 of the the Blog-Tember Challenge where we write every day for 30 days. It's not too late to join! Thanks to Bailey for all the fun and creative prompts!

Today's Prompt: A house/apartment/room tour. Give us a glimpse of your space!

I live in San Diego in a two-bedroom apartment in a cute little urban neighborhood. We're surrounded by coffee shops, bookstores, restaurants, yoga studios and parks. We're known to have a walkability score of 84 or something (on a scale of 1-100) meaning we can walk basically everywhere. It's a very dog-friendly area (lots of water bowls for pups outside local places). My favorite nail lady is just down the street from us along with my favorite coffee roaster, Dark Horse Coffee. I can't say it's cheap living in mid-San Diego but we really do love it.

Let's pretend I'm having you over today and I welcome you through the front door! Lenny, the puppy is awaiting your arrival!

Welcome to the living room!

I'm already beginning to decorate for fall. :)

We have a total of 4 bookshelves and they are stuffed and double-stacked. Scott and I both went to graduate school and we both love to read so we married into quite a bit of books. There are worse things to marry into I guess! Sometimes I am overwhelmed by them everywhere and wish we were better at parting with some of them. On the other hand, I always have liked a home filled with books!

P.S. On the bottom shelf lives Lenny's half cousin, twice removed: Meet Melvin, the fish. 

My one complaint for this neighborhood (besides the steep cost of rent) is what a cement jungle it is. Sometimes I just long for nature. I grew up in the midwest on 30 acres of land so sometimes I feel claustrophobic within so much cement. Thankfully outside our dinning room/living room window is this plant. It greets me year around in the mornings for breakfast. It's so cheery, bright and eccentric. It reminds me of Dr. Seuss' drawings. My favorite thing is when the hummingbirds come over for a snack.

Well now I'll take you into my kitchen. Maybe I'll put some water on the stove and get my french press ready for some coffee! My mom bought me this lovely sign above our stove, "Lord, give me coffee to the change the things I can change, and wine to accept the things I can't." It's always good to start the day with a little prayer! #superspiritual

This is my HALLWAY. When Scott and I were first married we lived in a tiny one-bedroom apartment. The bathroom was connected to the bedroom and living room so it served as a hallway which was very awkward for guests. So now that we have a hallway down to the bedroom and guest room I find it very luxurious. I'm practically a queen.

Welcome to our bedroom! 

Last, but not least, is our guest room! This is where I love to hide away with coffee, journal, pen and a good book. All my art supplies are in the guest room closet. I can't wait for my family and friends to come visit so we can host them here! It may not be huge but it's charming and cozy. 

Living in the 4th most expensive city in the U.S. certainly has it's struggles. We pay in rent what people in the midwest pay for mortgage. But at the end of the day, it's most important who I share my home with. Scott always says he would live in a shoebox with me. (I personally would like to avoid this.) The thing that makes my home wonderful and safe and cozy isn't how new or big or fancy it is, but who lives in it with me. I think Scott and Lenny are some of the best roommates/spouses/pets out there and I'm so grateful they make our place so special.

I'm excited to come visit all of your homes!